Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A college basketball star, abducted and raised under an alias by his addicted mother must jeopardize his shot at the championship when he sets out to find his long-lost dad.
In your previous logline I commented that the main characters were not driving the story. This logline proves my point as you have the same story but different characters. Again, how does he know he was abducted? If his mother has been arrested, the police know who the father is. If his mother simplRead more
In your previous logline I commented that the main characters were not driving the story. This logline proves my point as you have the same story but different characters.
Again, how does he know he was abducted? If his mother has been arrested, the police know who the father is. If his mother simply told him that without proof, then how does he know her confession was not a drug induced hallucination? Either way, the basketball game seems to be a subplot that may not merit mention in the logline.
See lessA faith-driven basketball star must prove his true identity or miss the playoffs when he discovers his godless mother abducted and raised him under an alias.
The conflict between the "faith-driven" young man and his "godless" mother is clear, but everything else is a muddle. How does he find out he is abducted? To whom does he have to prove his true identity?? Why? Is membership on the basketball team limited to people of specific ethnic background? WoulRead more
The conflict between the “faith-driven” young man and his “godless” mother is clear, but everything else is a muddle. How does he find out he is abducted? To whom does he have to prove his true identity?? Why? Is membership on the basketball team limited to people of specific ethnic background? Wouldn’t finding his real parents be more important than a basketball game for a “faith-driven” young man?
In other words, the chief attributes of the protagonist and antagonist are not driving the story. If you told us that after finding out his mother abducted him as a child, his faith told him to turn his mother over to the police, then you would be closer to a story driven by the characters.
See lessAfter a great war in Averia, a former female assassin seeking redemption is taken under the wing by a noble family, where she must learn to navigate high society while keeping her real identity a secret from the people that hunt her.
The premise is nice, but a premise alone is not enough. What is the inciting incident? What is the woman's goal? See the Formula link at the top of the page for hints.Also, you've placed this in the Fantasy genre, but there are no fantasy elements in your logline. Did you leave something out?
The premise is nice, but a premise alone is not enough. What is the inciting incident? What is the woman’s goal? See the Formula link at the top of the page for hints.
Also, you’ve placed this in the Fantasy genre, but there are no fantasy elements in your logline. Did you leave something out?
See less