Penpusher
Posted: 2020-01-08T05:56:46+10:00 In:

A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.

A pair of young lovers from rival lobster fishing gangs in Maine must unite their communities in order to defend their territories against the encroaching Canadian lobster mafia.?

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    5 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I really like the sound of this and I think it’s a solid logline.

      I’m not sure it’s essential to state that it’s in Maine and it’s the Canadian lobster mafia, however I understand that you’ve probably mentioned that to introduce conflicts between two countries perhaps?

      Do they have to be lovers? To me, it makes no difference either way – the story is the same. I would maybe start with one protagonist who must find a way to unite his gang with a rival gang without this prior relationship. The love can blossom between these two characters but I think there is further to go and more of a story without it. Going from despising the rivals, to working together, to the lovely B-story romance works great.

      Got a title? Something like Pot Shots, or Gone To Pot perhaps?

      Good luck.

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    2. Best Answer
      Samurai

      My eyes skipped ahead and I first read this as ‘a pair of young lobsters from rival…’ LOL thought it would be a fab Disney version of Romeo and Juliet!

      Is it a literal mafia they’re up against? I.e. total dominating, illegal, control? ?Or just hyperbole? ?I’m imagining if the story concludes with them securing their waters or taking the enemy down completely?

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Interesting subject matter.? And different — which is what movie producers are always looking for.

      I am aware that the lobster men (and women) organize in rival families.? But for the purpose of the logline and plot,? the “Romeo & Juliet” element? is only relevant if? the relationship entails mortal jeopardy to the main characters. Like the star-crossed affair did in Shakespeare’s play because of the feuding families in Verona.??? What’s the worse? thing that could happen to the lovers when? — not if — their love affair becomes public knowledge?

      In any event, the plot is not about love — it’s about lobsters.? That’s the “A” story.? The love relationship is the “B” story.? Loglines are about the “A” story, not the “B” story. ? So I suggest that the logline should focus on the lobster war.? A question I have is that since the American lobster folk are keenly aware of the existential threat the Canadian mafia poses, what stands in the way of their organizing to save their jobs and their way of life?? What must they do not just? to”defend their territories” but to win the war?

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    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Pretty solid and gets the story across. If you change anything, don’t change much.

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    5. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Beck:

      If I understand you rightly what is “inciting” the conflict now is warming ocean waters.? That should certainly factor into the story.? However, if the lobsters are migrating northward because of warming waters, then shouldn’t the dramatic problem be American lobster men poaching in Canadian waters and areas in international waters traditionally claimed and worked by Canadians??? IOW: who really are the designated “bad guys” in this scenario?? If the Canadians are, then what is motivating them to come south?? Seems like? the Americans wold be the group more negatively impacted by warming waters.

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