Signing Out
Chidi EzeibieliLogliner
When a cynical surgeon renounces his ancestral ties with a cabalistic tradition, he becomes the target of a dark force and must battle a phantasmagorical creature unleashed by the dark force to destroy him and everything he holds dear.
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Your story seems?to be?bedeviled by the nature of your genre, which presumes a world with its own set of rules that only exists (so far) in your imagination.
I, for one, don’t get it. Why is the creature after his family’s blood? Is?it ?because of his renunciation?? I suggest I am not alone in?not be able to figure that out the causal link, what the renunciation has?to do with the creature’s threat. Because, to repeat, it’s a world we are not privy as it only exists in your imagination.
If there is no cause-and-effect between the renunciation and the creature’s thirst for the family blood supply, the renunciation is extraneous to the logline.? If there is a cause-and-effect relationship, it needs to be clarified.
fwiw