A girl trifles with the dark arts during her mother’s career defining moment.

Again, I posted a rewrite on one of your other revisions. Check it out and use it as a starting point. Hope it helps.

Again, I posted a rewrite on one of your other revisions. Check it out and use it as a starting point. Hope it helps.

sdanzig:

So there's a girl for a protagonist. ??What's her subjective need, her initial dramatic problem? ?It seems she wants more quality time from her mom. ?She's feeling neglected. (If anything it's the mom with the salient character flaw.)

What's her solution to her perceived problem? ?Her dabbling in the dark arts can start out as accidental, ?but what is casual needs to become causal. ?Her blundering, such as it might be, has to be out of desperation. ?The extant to which she ?experiment with dark magic is the measure of her extremity, her emotional need.

So exactly how does she intend to use dark magic to win more affection and quality time from her mom? What is her game plan?

A tried and true method is to devising an objective goal is to frame the story with an upcoming event or milestone. ?Like Xmas, high school graduation, a sweet 16 birthday, a bat mitzvah, a quincea?era. ?Whatever it is it, it is most important and meaningful event to that girl at that moment in her life. ?And her mom's job is threatening to ruin that event.

Be specific, be concrete. ?What is her most important want in terms of an object or an event? ?What must she possess or experience RIGHT NOW? ?Exactly what is her game plan to get it? ?The game plan can go hilariously awry, it can be a game plan for the wrong goal. ?But she needs a game plan to strive toward an objective goal.

fwiw