When a top assassin falls for her latest target, she must switch from killer to bodyguard to stay alive long enough to turn the tables.

I was unsure how much value I'd get from a review of a logline, but this is great! All really valid and insightful points being made. Thanks everyone.

The more I develop the story, the more I veer away from comedy and stray into action with romance. Romaction?!? But comedy, in my humble opinion, is spawned from conflict. It is the trichotomy of two well defined characters in a strange situation and how the dynamics play off each other. This story has plenty of that so there's great scope for comedy, as long as it's not too dark what with all the killin'!!

dpg - Great points. In my head, and I've obviously not put this onto the comments here in depth, is that she switches to keeping him alive not because she falls in love with him by the end of Act 1, but because of why he has a price on his head in the first place. That meshes with her character driving force. She certainly enjoys his company, they get on well with each other, but she doesn't notice the growing love until the end of Act 2b when she believes him to be dead (spoiler, he's not!).

This reads like an original premise for a romantic comedy - I'd watch it. A rom-com about an assassin who falls in love with her target - that's a great tagline and will likely grab the attention of decision makers.

The inciting incident is her falling in love, whether she falls in love in act one and realises it only in act two it's still the inciting incident, so your instincts were correct in starting the logline with that.
As with all good love stories,? the nature of whatever is keeping the lovers apart will make the story interesting. It would be best if you described the antagonist in your next version.

>>>She takes the contract but after researching her new target, and accidentally getting into a speed dating event with him, she concludes he's not a bad guy, but is in fact quite nice.

I applaud the choice to make the protagonist a woman.? My point is it would? be more dramatically interesting? --even for a comedy -- if it were not such a "flippant" reversal.? The speed date should sow a seed of doubt and indecision.? Then the story should take the time to let the seed germinate and grows in stages -- in a sequence of scenes..? First, she comes to realize he's a good guy, doesn't deserve to be executed.? Gradually she comes to realize that? he's not only an okay guy, but that she's in love with him.

Your story hook is that she flips roles and goals.? Plant it, develop it, tease it out, then pay it off.? To apply a gross male metaphor about a female character: don't shoot your wad, the story hook and central conceit of your premise, in? one or two scenes.

Switching roles should be a hard decision.? And hard decisions are always ones characters put off until the plot forces them to decide.? In her case there needs to be a credible, compelling reason why initially she MUST kill him.

fwiw