A hot-tempered roofer and his baked teenage apprentice climb the ladder of the trade world and swindle their way to success.

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5 reviews

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

Agreed with the above.

Also, is there a way to make this pair more empathetic? That's not to say that the main characters have to be "good" people, but being hot-tempered, stoned, and evidently greedy, aren't qualities that alone give an audience much to hang their hat on. Could they at least have a noble cause motivating them?

 

 

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

In the case of this logline, I think you need to add a bad guy, or something that is standing in the lead character's way.

Also, you are describing "Life as normal" for these characters. A story usually begins when something interrupts the Norm.