Categories: Thriller
>>unable to prove him guilty..."
She doesn't have to prove anything. ?It's not her job. All she has to do is report the missing people and her suspicions, provide clues and probable cause for the police to investigate.
And surely she isn't the only one who has noticed or would go to the police. ?Parents of the missing students would surely be calling the police.
I, for one, don't find the setup credible that with a pack of concerned parents screaming at them to find their kids. the police would fail to vigorously investigate, would ignore or discount any clue anyone brings forward.
>>unable to prove him guilty..."
She doesn't have to prove anything. ?It's not her job. All she has to do is report the missing people and her suspicions, provide clues and probable cause for the police to investigate.
And surely she isn't the only one who has noticed or would go to the police. ?Parents of the missing students would surely be calling the police.
I, for one, don't find the setup credible that with a pack of concerned parents screaming at them to find their kids. the police would fail to vigorously investigate, would ignore or discount any clue anyone brings forward.
Okay, for one this could use a tightening. It doesn't flow very well and is quite long. You don't need to reveal that the teacher DOES have them, just that she thinks he does. You don't need the whole "bait" section either. Just:
After several fellow classmates go missing, a ?relentless class president suspects a teacher and, unable to prove him guilty, sets out a series of traps to prove it.
But even if she's not able to prove him guilty how does she know he is? And are the police investigating the disappearances at all?
Okay, for one this could use a tightening. It doesn't flow very well and is quite long. You don't need to reveal that the teacher DOES have them, just that she thinks he does. You don't need the whole "bait" section either. Just:
After several fellow classmates go missing, a ?relentless class president suspects a teacher and, unable to prove him guilty, sets out a series of traps to prove it.
But even if she's not able to prove him guilty how does she know he is? And are the police investigating the disappearances at all?
I changed it to: "..., unable to prove him guilty to the police she is forced to use herself as bait to lure him into a trap.
She would like to inform the Police, but she is unable to because they are terrible. Also, the Teacher is good at hiding his victims and covering his tracks.
Why doesn't the Class President just call the police?
