After her source is killed, a discredited journalist struggles to unravel and expose a diabolical plot by the world leader in DNA test kits before she becomes his next victim.
Categories: Action
5 reviews
Yep, we need to know what the diabolical plot is.? We need to have a clear idea of what the protagonist is fighting against -- and for, a a specific rather than vague statement of the objective goal.?
What jeopardy, what threat is created by marketing DNA tests, anyway?
Yep, we need to know what the diabolical plot is.? We need to have a clear idea of what the protagonist is fighting against -- and for, a a specific rather than vague statement of the objective goal.?
What jeopardy, what threat is created by marketing DNA tests, anyway?
This is really close. I think the diabolical plot needs to be expanded upon to give us a better idea why this is important. To me, a world leader in DNA test kits wouldn't be an individual but a company so this jars with the "she becomes his next victim". There's a confusing mix of global and personal.
Has the protagonist been discredited based on the work trying to expose this plot?
I think the stakes are bigger than it just claiming her life. If the company (or individual) is doing something that affects the whole of humanity then that should be what's at stake rather than just her life. A global plot has global implications. I would maybe consider something like "a discredited journalist puts hers life on the line to expose a plot to XXXXX before XXXXX". The protagonist is then someone who is prepared to sacrifice herself for the cause and that gives you someone the audience will get behind.
As Nicholas suggested, you need to tie the DNA stuff into the rest of the plot.
Also, "action" genre... the logline sounds like a mystery thriller to me. A journalist (who fights with words) searches for clues... cover ups... trading in company secrets. There may be elements of action in it but I'm not sure I can see explosions, fight scenes, gunfire, etc. in this.?
Sounds interesting though, I look forward to seeing where this one goes.