Down on his luck Security Guard Brooklyn Merewether’s day isn’t off to a good start but things are about to change as he saves the life of someone who has the power to make his existence a bit more enjoyable, a bit more tolerable, actually a lot damn better… he saves Cupid.

by DackVigilante · Penpusher · 80 pts 381 views

Categories:

4 reviews

TullyArcher · Samurai · 800 pts

This says nothing about what HAPPENS in this movie. No stakes, no goals, nothing. For all you've told us, he saves Cupid and Cupid says thank you and gets back to what he was doing and that's the end of it.

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

What you have presented is the set-up to the story but not the story itself. The story would be what he does after saving? Cupid.
For instance:
------------------
"When a lonely security guard saves Cupid, he is granted one wish, but when he asks him to pierce the worlds biggest?supermodels heart, even Cupid might not be able to make that love connection happen."

Leon Davis · Samurai · 895 pts

Seems too long and disjointed. Don't use names.
Remember the basics: Main character, Event and his action in response.

Perhaps:

When a luckless Security Guard saves the life of Cupid he must examine his own motivation before he can celebrate real romance.