When a crew of mismatched oilfield workers stay late to finish a job in the middle of nowhere, they are attacked by bloodthirsty monsters. They’ll have to band together to fight through blood guts, and teeth if they want to live to see another sunrise.

Okay, with such a remote location, the state isn't necessary.

While it still doesn't intrigue me, see if this helps to clarify the next attempt: After bloodsucking creatures attack an oilfield that is hours from the nearest town, the first female (worker or driller or x) must...

The respect part isn't needed in the logline and would be implied by clarifying that she's the first woman. First day is now a secondary detail.

Considering the angle that she's the first woman, it's natural that what she must do is save the men...in a specific way, as was mentioned. And yet, this 'first woman' angle feels less-than-natural within 'vampires in oilfield.' Consider being direct and exploring the oil sin or consider another setting or another protag.

What's the main thing motivating you to write this? The idea can evolve in different ways if one focuses on 'oilfield horror,' or 'old-school vampires' or 'first woman,' While each is clear and has potential, and the first and third can work together, all three together feels fuzzy.

If I understand your story, you seem to be striving to work out a dramatic process of antithesis in terms of her relationship with the crew.? Something like:

After struggling all day in a rugged, remote oilfield to win the respect of her male crew, a rookie female roughneck must fight all night to save them from vampires.
(30 words)

Not sure if this works as a logline, but it works in my (demented) mind as a story hook. The "vamping" as a gimmick to work out the relationship -- I can see possibilities.

And vampires is the? generic, shorthand term for all blood-sucking monsters.? I don't see how you can,or need,to? use another term? in the logline, one that nobody will understand.? Use other nomenclature in the story if you must, but stick with the shorthand in the logline.

Whatever.? I would pitch this as a story about feminist empowerment story that happens to be of the horror genre.? Just as "Get Out" is about? about race told as a horror story.

fwiw

If I understand your story, you seem to be striving to work out a dramatic process of antithesis in terms of her relationship with the crew.? Something like:

After struggling all day in a rugged, remote oilfield to win the respect of her male crew, a rookie female roughneck must fight all night to save them from vampires.
(30 words)

Not sure if this works as a logline, but it works in my (demented) mind as a story hook. The "vamping" as a gimmick to work out the relationship -- I can see possibilities.

And vampires is the? generic, shorthand term for all blood-sucking monsters.? I don't see how you can,or need,to? use another term? in the logline, one that nobody will understand.? Use other nomenclature in the story if you must, but stick with the shorthand in the logline.

Whatever.? I would pitch this as a story about feminist empowerment story that happens to be of the horror genre.? Just as "Get Out" is about? about race told as a horror story.

fwiw