Categories: Horror
The? commercial success of a horror flick is contingent on the nature of the danger the characters face, the quality of the evil that makes it so horrible? -- and so interesting. Therefore, the story hook in the logline has to feature the horror.? It doesn't have to give away every detail.? But it does have to suggest that the script? is going to deliver the goods, that is is going to have a horror that? is different, unique from other horror stories.? I? am not yet persuaded from this logline that the script delivers the goods because I have no general sense of what the horror is that the missionary will encounter.? Will he just disappear? Or die?? And if he dies,? how?? From a viral infection?? From a strange beast?? From tribal ghosts?? From boredom?
Furthermore, the objective goal of the missionary protagonist needs to be clarified.? ?And the stakes.? ?What's the point of proving the power of his religion?? Isn't it to convert the tribe?? Therefore, isn't that his objective goal?? Isn't the ordeal in the jungle the means to that end?? ?The stakes are that if he can survive the night, then the the tribe will convert.
fwiw
The? commercial success of a horror flick is contingent on the nature of the danger the characters face, the quality of the evil that makes it so horrible? -- and so interesting. Therefore, the story hook in the logline has to feature the horror.? It doesn't have to give away every detail.? But it does have to suggest that the script? is going to deliver the goods, that is is going to have a horror that? is different, unique from other horror stories.? I? am not yet persuaded from this logline that the script delivers the goods because I have no general sense of what the horror is that the missionary will encounter.? Will he just disappear? Or die?? And if he dies,? how?? From a viral infection?? From a strange beast?? From tribal ghosts?? From boredom?
Furthermore, the objective goal of the missionary protagonist needs to be clarified.? ?And the stakes.? ?What's the point of proving the power of his religion?? Isn't it to convert the tribe?? Therefore, isn't that his objective goal?? Isn't the ordeal in the jungle the means to that end?? ?The stakes are that if he can survive the night, then the the tribe will convert.
fwiw
Currently It reads:
"After offending a pagan tribe, an outspoken minister is forced to spend the day in a cursed forest"
his objective goal becomes "survival", is it proactive? What "must he do" as a result?
what do you mean by "his missionaries"? are they promoting their religion in a foreign place (the tribe)? Then maybe that needs to be cleared,
or
drop it out of your logline
I didn't get...."to prove the power of their religion"
is that instead their goal?
good luck dho1115
