1. Posted: May 20, 2013In:

    A murdered chess champion challenges heaven to save her brother from becoming her killer?s next victim.

    almiiitey Penpusher

    Thanks so much for your comment. Would love to hear more about the story that came to mind when reading the logline.

    Thanks so much for your comment. Would love to hear more about the story that came to mind when reading the logline.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: May 7, 2013In:

    When a starving empire?s water mines run dry, two slave girls must revive a mythical power that could save the world.

    almiiitey Penpusher

    I like this logline. Who is the main character? Is it necessary to have two characters revive the mythical power? What qualities do they have that make them the only ones who can save the world?

    I like this logline. Who is the main character? Is it necessary to have two characters revive the mythical power? What qualities do they have that make them the only ones who can save the world?

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: May 7, 2013In:

    A week before Christmas terrorists invade the North Pole and take Santa hostage, and the only cop that can save him hates Christmas more than Ebenezer Scrooge.

    almiiitey Penpusher

    I like the concept. Do you think adding "a week before Christmas" is necessary? I like the time frame included but also like to the flow of the logline when it is absent. When terrorists invade the North Pole and take Santa hostage, the only cop who can save him hates Christmas more than Ebeneezer SRead more

    I like the concept. Do you think adding “a week before Christmas” is necessary? I like the time frame included but also like to the flow of the logline when it is absent.

    When terrorists invade the North Pole and take Santa hostage, the only cop who can save him hates Christmas more than Ebeneezer Scrooge.

    See less
    • 0