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A sex addict, psychologically unable to have sex with the first woman he?s ever loved, returns to his old psychiatrist, a twisted and manipulative woman, and the only one who has come close to curing his fractured psyche.
Valid points by dpg and Ckharper. A 'reformed sex addict' is a better way to let us care about what happens to him.What makes it a thriller? Is it what happens when he returns to his old psychiatrist? That's something we know nothing about. Suggesting her goal would tell us about the nature of his oRead more
Valid points by dpg and Ckharper. A ‘reformed sex addict’ is a better way to let us care about what happens to him.
What makes it a thriller? Is it what happens when he returns to his old psychiatrist? That’s something we know nothing about. Suggesting her goal would tell us about the nature of his obstacle.
See lessIn a world where magic is determined by hair color and people with the same magic can temporarily share power, a yellow haired boy longs to be with his kind but discovers they have been divided by war with other magic types. After finally meeting others like him, he finds he can share power permanently and leaves to unite his people.
So In a world where people can only temporarily share power, this yellow haired boy learns that he can share power permanently (inciting incident?) with other yellow colored hair people (his kind). He longs to be with them (goal?) hence leaves to unite his people divided by war with other magic typeRead more
So In a world where people can only temporarily share power, this yellow haired boy learns that he can share power permanently (inciting incident?) with other yellow colored hair people (his kind). He longs to be with them (goal?) hence leaves to unite his people divided by war with other magic types..
1.
How is “sharing power permanently” a solution to unite people?
This might be solved by providing specifics for what sharing power means, and what’s the difference between temporary and permanent sharing of said power. Since, the inciting incident is him realizing he can share power permanently (whatever that means) the Goal must be a direct result of this realization.
2.
What does he risk losing if he doesn’t leave on a journey to save others? What are the stakes? >>He longs to be with his kind.. Then make it a part of his situation: “In a world where people can only temporarily share their powers, a kid separated by his kind realizes that he can share power permanently and must [do this action] to [reach this objective] which brings us to…
3.
See lessHis Objective Goal and the line of Action are still unclear. What do we expect to see onscreen; a yellow haired boy travelling and sharing his power to win a war, until earth is left with only yellow haired people?
In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a duplicitous former colleague, and forced to confront some old faces, as he becomes a pawn in the entrapment of a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.
The protagonist is made a puppet by his former colleague. His 'past crimes' seem to be an important piece of the inciting incident; the blackmail, to which his goal becomes 'to entrap a suspected war criminal' instead of reacting to it the way someone who deserves our attention for a feature film leRead more
The protagonist is made a puppet by his former colleague. His ‘past crimes’ seem to be an important piece of the inciting incident; the blackmail, to which his goal becomes ‘to entrap a suspected war criminal’ instead of reacting to it the way someone who deserves our attention for a feature film length should, a proactive protagonist.
I’d rather him be wrongfully exacted to do something – by evidence of what he never did? – to earn our empathy. His goal then becomes (as a direct result of the inciting incident) to do something which proves him innocent of an accusation that can ruin his life and career (stakes)
See less