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Fresh from prison, a former drug dealer, struggling to rebuild his life and reconcile with an old flame becomes entangled in a world of duplicitous old friends and younger and more ruthless thugs when he agrees to help his best friend, a junkie war veteran, pay back a murderous mob boss, during the tumultuous, racially-divided week of the N.Y. Blackout of ?77.
When he has a chance to reconcile with an old flame, why would he go out of the way to help a junkie? In that way "to struggle to rebuild life" and "to help someone pay back a murderous man" are two different goals working against each other.What is his one singular goal? Two different goals equalsRead more
When he has a chance to reconcile with an old flame, why would he go out of the way to help a junkie? In that way “to struggle to rebuild life” and “to help someone pay back a murderous man” are two different goals working against each other.
What is his one singular goal? Two different goals equals two different stories, unless they are part of such a causality, that he must help this guy, or lose the only chance of reconciling with an old flame – his last prospect of ‘a normal life’
Secondly, what are the stakes? He agreed to help him out, but when the going gets tough he can always back out and lose nothing.
Aim for 25-40 words per logline. It’s challenging but keeps us in check.
See lessA future Test-Pilot stranded at the fare side of the Galaxy trying to find a way home while solving the mystery of a black planet.
No two goals; finding a way back home OR solving the planet's mystery - take a call. In a mix of two directed actions, one hinders belief in the other.Two goals work against each other, except when they are part of the causality. For instance, If that planet is responsible for her getting stranded oRead more
No two goals; finding a way back home OR solving the planet’s mystery – take a call. In a mix of two directed actions, one hinders belief in the other.
Two goals work against each other, except when they are part of the causality. For instance, If that planet is responsible for her getting stranded on the far side of the galaxy and hence she must solve it’s mystery to reach home (before she runs out of her resources)… That’s allowed. The goal remains singular.
I don’t know what a future test-pilot’s job is. So if it’s an important detail, you need to give more specifics.
See lessWhen her adopted brother threatens a hostile takeover of the family business, a resentful cyborg must come out of hiding to stop him.
Since he's a cyborg, won't it be easy to prevent his human brother from taking over?i.e., What's stopping him from reaching his goal?What's in it for him? He was away from the family business, Why now?i.e., What if he doesn't? What are the stakes?How does a 'hostile takeover' look onscreen?What's heRead more
- Since he’s a cyborg, won’t it be easy to prevent his human brother from taking over?
- What’s in it for him? He was away from the family business, Why now?
- i.e., What if he doesn’t? What are the stakes?
- How does a ‘hostile takeover’ look onscreen?
- What’s he resentful about?
See lessi.e., What’s stopping him from reaching his goal?