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3rd version: When she falls in love with an inspiring woman who sees past her condition, an OCD-afflicted introvert?s latent insecurities threaten her rare romance with worry, frustration and jealousy.
What must she do as result? What becomes her goal? How about...After falling for a woman who sees past her condition, an obsessive compulsive introvert must work on her insecurities for a shot at true love (25 Words)The action "..work on her insecurities.." isn't visual enough, but something along tRead more
What must she do as result? What becomes her goal? How about…
See lessAfter falling for a woman who sees past her condition, an obsessive compulsive introvert must work on her insecurities for a shot at true love (25 Words)
The action “..work on her insecurities..” isn’t visual enough, but something along the lines I guess.
When a legendary assassin gets involved with his adversary’s daughter, he must fight for his life, taking on the adversary and multiple assassins, not aware that she may be his saving grace to survive and gain a strong ally.
It seems headed towards an anticlimactic resolution. So he doesn't yet know about her and in knowing this lies his chance of survival, but that's not very proactive or dramatic. You are missing on the Inciting Incident & him getting involved with her is clearly not it, since that changes nothingRead more
It seems headed towards an anticlimactic resolution. So he doesn’t yet know about her and in knowing this lies his chance of survival, but that’s not very proactive or dramatic.
See lessYou are missing on the Inciting Incident & him getting involved with her is clearly not it, since that changes nothing for him (as pointed by Richiev).
A semi-retired military contractor accepts a special recon job involving defected Allied and Enemy soldiers in the Middle-East, there, the PMCs uncover a ritualistic cult heralding the emergence of their colossal-sized Nephilim.
What do you mean by "..heralded by an ancient Goliath"? {Herald (verb): to be a sign that something is going to happen soon} If you meant guarded, it is an interesting setup. You should go for a clearer Inciting incident & an obstacle that provides him with an objective goal. Should "funded by CRead more
What do you mean by “..heralded by an ancient Goliath”? {Herald (verb): to be a sign that something is going to happen soon}
If you meant guarded, it is an interesting setup. You should go for a clearer Inciting incident & an obstacle that provides him with an objective goal.
Should “funded by CIA” and “involvement of defected Allied and Enemy soldiers” be a part of your logline? That it’s a recon job seems important though. Suggested format below:
When a local military contractor accidentally disturbs a mid-east cult guarded by an ancient goliath, he must [do this action] to [reach this objective goal]
*If you meant heralded, ignore the review
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