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Down on his luck Security Guard Brooklyn Merewether?s day isn?t off to a good start but things are about to change as he saves the life of someone who has the power to make his existence a bit more enjoyable, a bit more tolerable, actually a lot damn better… he saves Cupid.
Cupid is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection (Google Search Result) If you can somehow relate THAT---to your protagonist's "dramatic need"---Since "Down on his luck..." doesn't establish the need (and thus role) of Cupid in his loveless life Good Luck DackVigilante!!
Cupid is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection (Google Search Result)
If you can somehow relate THAT—to your protagonist’s “dramatic need”—Since “Down on his luck…” doesn’t establish the need (and thus role) of Cupid in his loveless life
Good Luck DackVigilante!!
See lessAs for being a janitor, burger flipper or ditch digger..those jobs are for the other people to do. At the age of 28, Charlie Bean comes to the harsh realization that he just might be the other people.
Apart from a missing Goal (lack of establishing "what becomes his main action" in the story...) it works fine. So, something like -- ???After losing all his investments at his 30th birthday, a man born with a silver spoon must do odd jobs to provide for his high maintenance family??? Good Luck DackVRead more
Apart from a missing Goal (lack of establishing “what becomes his main action” in the story…) it works fine. So, something like —
???After losing all his investments at his 30th birthday, a man born with a silver spoon must do odd jobs to provide for his high maintenance family???
Good Luck DackVigilante!!
See lessDocumentary filmmaker Ted Riley is hot on the trail of the phenomenon that?s sweeping the city of Bakersfield. In the vein of “Robin Hood” a father and his pre-teen sons make a living from stealing from second hand shops and selling the goods at a more reasonable price at various swap meets in their local area.? Petty crooks or men with a mission? Ted Riley seeks that answer as he captures a raw and voyeuristic look into one of Bakersfield’s most notorious crime families.?
Inciting Events are SPECIFIC EVENTS that drive the PROTAGONIST towards his GOAL Which becomes: When 'a family of three' start robbing the ultra rich businessmen to make cheap sale at random local markets, a documentary filmmaker.... wait, you gotta be more specific than "hot on the trail" (which traRead more
Inciting Events are SPECIFIC EVENTS that drive the PROTAGONIST towards his GOAL
Which becomes: When ‘a family of three’ start robbing the ultra rich businessmen to make cheap sale at random local markets, a documentary filmmaker….
wait, you gotta be more specific than “hot on the trail” (which translates into a vague action towards his GOAL, as a result of being involved in such adventure. Which brings us to…)
What’s his GOAL? It cannot be left “implied…since he’s a documentary filmmaker, duh!” But spelled out in the logline
Good Luck DackVigilante!!
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