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After a celebrity impersonator learns that both his wife and mistress are pregnant, he struggles with keeping the pregnancies secret. But after admitting to living an adulterous lifestyle, he winds up as a vagrant without hope of ever rebuilding his life.
Pstone: Even if he met his mistress being an impersonator, it doesn't go into the logline unless it contributes to event-character-goal dynamics. Which it doesn't, so I'm substituting it for an adulterer for now... also, You said "his learning they are pregnant" isn't the INCITING EVENT........thatRead more
Pstone:
Even if he met his mistress being an impersonator, it doesn’t go into the logline unless it contributes to event-character-goal dynamics. Which it doesn’t, so I’m substituting it for an adulterer for now…
also,
You said “his learning they are pregnant” isn’t the INCITING EVENT……..that the event happened before.
WHAT EXACTLY IS IT since it is a MANDATORY part of the logline
If you want me to trim your version, here you go:
“After impregnating both his wife and mistress, an adulterer must keep it a secret or risk winding up a vagrant”
It’s obvious that this action “keeping their pregnancies a secret” cannot sustain a feature length plot (as pointed out by Jessie…thanks J)
Also it’s a selfish goal–to keep a secret, to save his a** from being on the line
I strongly suggest you to HAVE A BETTER GOAL
See lessBecause this premise of living two lives, is worth investing your time into…
After a celebrity impersonator learns that both his wife and mistress are pregnant, he struggles with keeping the pregnancies secret. But after admitting to living an adulterous lifestyle, he winds up as a vagrant without hope of ever rebuilding his life.
some questions that come to mind are:1. Why is your protagonist "a celebrity impersonator"? What does that have to do with his admitting to adultery?2. Is "his learning that both his wife and mistress are pregnant" your Inciting Incident? What does that INCITE if he still keeps it a secret and laterRead more
some questions that come to mind are:
1.
Why is your protagonist “a celebrity impersonator”?
What does that have to do with his admitting to adultery?
2.
Is “his learning that both his wife and mistress are pregnant” your Inciting Incident?
What does that INCITE if he still keeps it a secret and later admits to adultery?
3.
Why keep his wife’s pregnancy a secret? (She’s his wife after all)
4.
In the last section,
“….after admitting to living an adulterous lifestyle, he winds up as a vagrant without hope of ever rebuilding his life….”
It’s an event.
See lessIt tells us nothing about his GOAL
& without GOAL there’s no CONFLICT
Lost in deep space, the crew of a rescue ship must cooperate with an alien rebels to find a way home.
When a lost space driver meets an alien rebel possessing the tech to locate home, she battles alongside him against his evil overlord to obtain it (26W) Or A lost space captain battles alongside an alien rebel against his evil overlord in exchange for the radar tech to return home (22W)
When a lost space driver meets an alien rebel possessing the tech to locate home, she battles alongside him against his evil overlord to obtain it
(26W)
Or
A lost space captain battles alongside an alien rebel against his evil overlord in exchange for the radar tech to return home
See less(22W)