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?An unassuming young gentleman, still struggling to find his place in the world, must face off with the 19th Century?s greatest criminal Kingpin to rescue his childhood sweetheart from a life of sexual servitude and topple the criminal conspiracy which may lead all the way to the Royal Family?
I don't mind getting vastness of the criminal enterprise (royal connection) in there. Perhaps use an era rather than a date, it might evoke images. I also think the sexual servitude works, it is the language is of the era. In Victorian London a young man must rescue his childhood sweetheart forced iRead more
I don’t mind getting vastness of the criminal enterprise (royal connection) in there. Perhaps use an era rather than a date, it might evoke images. I also think the sexual servitude works, it is the language is of the era.
In Victorian London a young man must rescue his childhood sweetheart forced into sexual servitude by a ruthless criminal kingpins with connections all the way to the royal family.
See lessAfter discovering he's been raised under an assumed identity, a prized college recruit's championship hopes are threatened by his felonious, on the lam mother when he sets out to find his missing dad.
This reads like an event in the larger story. What does the story focus on. Him trying to get back his career or find his father. What stands in his way, what does he do to stop her? What I am seeing is a guy starting out on an adventure and mum doing something that has no impact on his current actiRead more
This reads like an event in the larger story. What does the story focus on. Him trying to get back his career or find his father. What stands in his way, what does he do to stop her?
What I am seeing is a guy starting out on an adventure and mum doing something that has no impact on his current action. He can keep going if has no college career. But if he stops to save his college career that is the story and not his dad.
See lessMe, Myself & Irene meets Death Defying Acts – "When two young illusionists with multiple personality disorder start dating, they must figure out ?who? will date ?whom’; so their love lives will not self-destruct."
I would drop the movie reference at the start. Your idea is strong enough and I disliked me, myself and Irene. Let the reader form their own opinion.
I would drop the movie reference at the start. Your idea is strong enough and I disliked me, myself and Irene. Let the reader form their own opinion.
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