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Whilst working as a PA for the Mayor, a part-time poet is charged to facilitate an affair between his boss and a much younger woman. The PA and his lover, his boss’ wife, decide to spin the situation to their own advantage.
There are a few things, "own advantage" is vague, need to know the goal. Was the goal existing prior to the opportunity? "The PA and his lover", the lover wasn't part of the set up so putting them in the payoff part of the logline is confusing. Leave the lover out as they are not the protagonist orRead more
There are a few things, “own advantage” is vague, need to know the goal. Was the goal existing prior to the opportunity? “The PA and his lover”, the lover wasn’t part of the set up so putting them in the payoff part of the logline is confusing. Leave the lover out as they are not the protagonist or impact on the protagonist. I can see what you are heading towards, but being specific will be your friend.
See lessWhilst working as a PA for the Mayor, a part-time poet is charged to facilitate an affair between his boss and a much younger woman. The PA and his lover, his boss’ wife, decide to spin the situation to their own advantage.
There are a few things, "own advantage" is vague, need to know the goal. Was the goal existing prior to the opportunity? "The PA and his lover", the lover wasn't part of the set up so putting them in the payoff part of the logline is confusing. Leave the lover out as they are not the protagonist orRead more
There are a few things, “own advantage” is vague, need to know the goal. Was the goal existing prior to the opportunity? “The PA and his lover”, the lover wasn’t part of the set up so putting them in the payoff part of the logline is confusing. Leave the lover out as they are not the protagonist or impact on the protagonist. I can see what you are heading towards, but being specific will be your friend.
See lessA girl in the Old West becomes the town judge, just before her outlaw aunt shows up.
What does she want to achieve and what is preventing her from doing it? Or even what does she believe and what challenges her belief. Just saying "Judge" does not mean lawful in the Old West. Look at "Judge Roy Bean" (great movie) a highly corrupt Judge (self appointed). You can leave questions unanRead more
What does she want to achieve and what is preventing her from doing it? Or even what does she believe and what challenges her belief. Just saying “Judge” does not mean lawful in the Old West. Look at “Judge Roy Bean” (great movie) a highly corrupt Judge (self appointed).
You can leave questions unanswered in a tag line, that is marketing and needs to raise questions.
Your logline should give the reader information and raise the question “How did you resolve that conflict”, not “I wonder what the conflict may be”.
I hope that helps.
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