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  1. Posted: December 21, 2012In: Public

    When a stripper learns the exact date of her death from a mysterious patron, she seeks to tie up the loose ends and find meaning in her life.

    debbiemoon Penpusher
    Added an answer on December 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    Dammit, I'd be desperately trying to avoid dying, forget 'tying up loose ends'! However, if you're going down the Bruce Joel Rubin accept-your-fate route, then in order for the story to more than a melancholy study in inevitability, those 'loose ends' have to be MASSIVELY IMPORTANT. She's going to hRead more

    Dammit, I’d be desperately trying to avoid dying, forget ‘tying up loose ends’! However, if you’re going down the Bruce Joel Rubin accept-your-fate route, then in order for the story to more than a melancholy study in inevitability, those ‘loose ends’ have to be MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.

    She’s going to have to, I dunno, get her best friend off drugs, save the life of her brother, prevent a serial killer striking at the strip club, and preferably all three; change the world in some significant way. Otherwise, the fact that she knows her date of death is near-irrelevant; this might just as well be a ‘dying of cancer’ story. The intervention of supernatural forces in a story demand big stakes. (Weird comparison, but look at the scale of the stakes, for the whole town, in It’s A Wonderful Life…)

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  2. Posted: December 21, 2012In: Public

    By simply touching someone, Lissa can tell who their true love is, but it doesn't work on her. As she rises in popularity, Skeptic Magazine sends out their top reporter, Tom, a naturally handsome man, for the story. He soon discovers her to be much more interesting than her story. But after a lifetime of heartbreak, Lissa wants nothing to do with him. Right?

    debbiemoon Penpusher
    Added an answer on December 21, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    I agree with refining it down, fewer words, but the exact nature of her ability - touching someone and predicting their true love - is unique and interesting, and I think you need to keep it in...

    I agree with refining it down, fewer words, but the exact nature of her ability – touching someone and predicting their true love – is unique and interesting, and I think you need to keep it in…

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  3. Posted: December 20, 2012In: Public

    An overwhelmed single-father, hesitantly adopts the 10-year-old daughter of a former love who is about to die, only to learn the young girl is actually his.

    debbiemoon Penpusher
    Added an answer on December 21, 2012 at 7:40 am

    "Single father" definitely suggests he already has kids. Which detracts from the potential stress of adopting this kid, doesn't it?

    “Single father” definitely suggests he already has kids. Which detracts from the potential stress of adopting this kid, doesn’t it?

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