1. Posted: July 24, 2015In:

    When a group of aspiring screenwriters join a workshop held in an isolated country house, they find themselves prisoners of a perverse guru and they must write a perfect script or face torture and death.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I would say Misery meets Saw! It's an interesting idea to bring in a "story in a story" structure as a design principle, I will think about it. Maybe they must write a horror movie with them as characters? I like this! Honestly I was looking for an "easy" film to write, an horror where they dRead more

    Hello, I would say Misery meets Saw! It’s an interesting idea to bring in a “story in a story” structure as a design principle, I will think about it. Maybe they must write a horror movie with them as characters? I like this! Honestly I was looking for an “easy” film to write, an horror where they die one by one with a “screenwriting workshop” setting, that is quite original in my opinion. The “mise en abime” can be tricky to implement. Anyway, the more I think about it, the more I think that what you suggest is kind of necessary and belongs to the story world of the movie.

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  2. Posted: July 24, 2015In:

    When a group of aspiring screenwriters join a workshop held in an isolated country house, they find themselves prisoners of a perverse guru and they must write a perfect script or face torture and death.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I like your rewriting, it's clearly better. As a logline to attach to a finished script, that would be my take. In my case I use the logline to detect story/structure problems before writing the script and it is useful to use the formula "when this happens, protagonist must do this" - the "whRead more

    Hello, I like your rewriting, it’s clearly better. As a logline to attach to a finished script, that would be my take.

    In my case I use the logline to detect story/structure problems before writing the script and it is useful to use the formula “when this happens, protagonist must do this” – the “when” part is the inciting event, what puts the story in motion.
    1st act, writers exits their ordinary life to join the workshop;
    2nd act, they discover the violent reality of the workshop, they face many ordeals,
    3rd act: leave the workshop.

    The isolated country house is there to establish the setting. Maybe it’s a useless detail.

    There will be a main character, the one who will be able to leave the workshop alive at the end (maybe with his love). I’m not sure that in this specific case it would be better to write the logline mentioning the main character. I will think about it.

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  3. Posted: July 24, 2015In:

    In the claustrophobia of a haunted flat, an immature voodoo sorcerer makes a terrible choice when he calls upon his dark gods to seek revenge for a broken heart.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I don't know if you are familiar with internal/external goals, but from your synospsis it seems to me that you focused too much on the internal goal (accepting the breakup and move on) and not enough about the external goal. Usually the external goal determines what we see in the movie so, exRead more

    Hello, I don’t know if you are familiar with internal/external goals, but from your synospsis it seems to me that you focused too much on the internal goal (accepting the breakup and move on) and not enough about the external goal. Usually the external goal determines what we see in the movie so, expecially in a logline, you should focus on it. In other words, visually, what happens in the movie? Ghosts and monsters attack the hero, how does he react? I assume that the external goal is to stay alive, but precisely what actions he performs?

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