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When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)
Well, there are indeed films where the main character is in a war from beginning to end and at the end we just have the "battle", which in terms of screenwriting terms is the moment where the hero directly fights the main villain (and we have this kind of battle in so many movies that are not war moRead more
Well, there are indeed films where the main character is in a war from beginning to end and at the end we just have the “battle”, which in terms of screenwriting terms is the moment where the hero directly fights the main villain (and we have this kind of battle in so many movies that are not war movies). If your story is not this kind of war movie it’s ok – so maybe the training is what the second act is about. If it’s so, then you should describe a little the training in the logline since the training represents at least half of the movie.
See lessWhen a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)
Hello, I'm sorry to say that it seems to me that most of what have been said about the old versions still applies. "When his family is kidnapped by an invading army, a brave boy trains as a knight to rescue them ...". Then I think you have to make clear what happens. A choice is a matter of 5 secondRead more
Hello,
I’m sorry to say that it seems to me that most of what have been said about the old versions still applies.
“When his family is kidnapped by an invading army, a brave boy trains as a knight to rescue them …”.
Then I think you have to make clear what happens. A choice is a matter of 5 seconds, even if it is the choice between family and country, so you can’t even mention it in a logline, where you should tell the main pillars of the plot instead. We see the kidnapping and the goal to rescue the family, the motivation to train as a knight, then the knight go to war and fights, and then? What is the specificity of the war? Try to focus about what happens not about the very last ending.
I wish you the best to improve your logline,
See lessupdated: In a world of high fantasy, four archetypical adventurers have a brush with death only to learn their fates are determined by a ?role playing game?; they journey into our world, where the laws they know no longer apply, to meet the godlike beings who control them (comedy).
The ";" that separates the two sentences stands like a hole in the script to me. Again, you should focus on the movie structure and you will find a way to write a one sentence logline where all the elements are connected, with clear stakes and goals. With a touch of irony you can almost avoid to speRead more
The “;” that separates the two sentences stands like a hole in the script to me. Again, you should focus on the movie structure and you will find a way to write a one sentence logline where all the elements are connected, with clear stakes and goals.
With a touch of irony you can almost avoid to specify that it’s a comedy.
Look at the Galaxy Quest logline to get inspired :
See less“The alumni cast of a space opera television series have to play their roles as the real thing when an alien race needs their help” (imdb).