1. Posted: April 23, 2015In:

    When her favorite dream-streamer stops sharing his dreams, a rigid executive must help him dream again to win the contract of her life before her nightmares destroy her temper.

    FFF Mentor

    Richiev got it right: "a Dream-streamer is someone who dreams for you". Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to rework the logline.

    Richiev got it right: “a Dream-streamer is someone who dreams for you”.

    Thanks for the feedback, I’ll try to rework the logline.

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  2. Posted: April 24, 2015In:

    A backyard drug cook tests a new formula on her willing friends. It produces hallucination turning them into murderous, sadistic adversaries. She must survive their attacks as they slip deeper into madness.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I think you can do it in one sentence, like: "when a backyard drug cook tests a new formula on her friends, they become hallucinanting murderers and she must survive their attack".

    Hello, I think you can do it in one sentence,
    like:

    “when a backyard drug cook tests a new formula on her friends, they become hallucinanting murderers and she must survive their attack”.

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  3. Posted: April 23, 2015In:

    Reluctantly elected as president, a lazy teenager struggles to run the model train club, but soon discovers opportunities to expand his earnings and popularity through increasingly unscrupulous business practices.

    FFF Mentor

    One more thing. If he's lazy, it's hard to understand why he "struggles" to run the club (he should just let it go...) and if he "soon" starts his unscrupulous practices", this part of the story is too insignificant to be mentioned in the logline. i see a potential in the story but you have to makeRead more

    One more thing. If he’s lazy, it’s hard to understand why he “struggles” to run the club (he should just let it go…) and if he “soon” starts his unscrupulous practices”, this part of the story is too insignificant to be mentioned in the logline.

    i see a potential in the story but you have to make creative decisions.

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