1. Posted: April 2, 2016In:

    In a modern European country, a deadly terrorist group carries out an attack, a naive young school dropout must get would-be victims to safety.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, the loglines of your story fail to catch the actual story. I recommend you to start from scratch after reading some good logline tutorials, for exemple:?https://loglines.org/howto/

    Hello, the loglines of your story fail to catch the actual story. I recommend you to start from scratch after reading some good logline tutorials, for exemple:?https://loglines.org/howto/

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  2. Posted: March 31, 2016In:

    To regain his status in the high ranks of the order after a shameful ban, an arrogant, yet talented sorcerer sets off to hunt one of the most vicious rebels in the realm.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I think that this can be a good story if the rebel turn out to be a rebel with a cause, so the main character has a real choice to do to truly grow up, going after his status or doing something right.

    Hello, I think that this can be a good story if the rebel turn out to be a rebel with a cause, so the main character has a real choice to do to truly grow up, going after his status or doing something right.

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  3. Posted: April 1, 2016In:

    A young, self-absorbed man struggles to come to grips with his flaws and regrets as evidenced by three important moments in his life – the news that his girlfriend is pregnant, the birth of his daughter, and his daughter?s high school graduation.

    FFF Mentor

    This is much better that the orther version! The only part that is akward is when you mention his flaw without specifying what it is. The structure made me think of Steve Jobs movie, it's a good idea.

    This is much better that the orther version! The only part that is akward is when you mention his flaw without specifying what it is. The structure made me think of Steve Jobs movie, it’s a good idea.

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