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  1. Posted: March 2, 2016In: Drama

    When his mother dies in his arms, an insomniac paramedic abandons the scene of the car accident that claimed her to wander the city streets in search of his estranged siblings.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on March 2, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Hello, I can't seea conflict that should fuel the long second act... what happens after he starts searching his siblings? What opposes to his goal?

    Hello,
    I can’t seea conflict that should fuel the long second act… what happens after he starts searching his siblings? What opposes to his goal?

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  2. Posted: February 29, 2016In: Comedy

    ANALYZE FISH-A greedy shrink Dolphin tries to let a depressed Shark crime boss commit suicide and blame a rival crime family.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on March 1, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    Hello, I kind of remember some old versions of this concept. I like the dolphin being a mean shrink (against popular belief that dolphin are docile), and the shark being a feeble old mafia boss. I don't think the fact that the dolphin want to blame a rival boss is interesting in the economy of the lRead more

    Hello, I kind of remember some old versions of this concept. I like the dolphin being a mean shrink (against popular belief that dolphin are docile), and the shark being a feeble old mafia boss. I don’t think the fact that the dolphin want to blame a rival boss is interesting in the economy of the logline (it’s part of his plan but doesn’t add anything really significant here – we don’t need someone to blame for a suicide). It would be more interesting to explain clearly what motivates the dolphin (does he want to become the new boss, demistifying the belief that dolphins are no leaders? Is the rival mob who push him to act like that (how)? And finally, don’t say “try to let”, maybe try to make… the problem is that the shark is depressed and ready to commit suicide than the dolphin as little to do to accomplish his goal. Maybe the comedy can emerge if despite the fact that the shark is depressed and ready to commit suicide, all attempts to push him fail. This mob fishes world can be funny and original, as a logline I feel like more work is needed.

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  3. Posted: March 1, 2016In: Thriller

    When a rambunctious young clubber wakes up bound and gagged in the trunk of a speeding car she must use her wits and the contents of her handbag to escape her mobile prison before she meets her unknown fate. (Short Film)

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on March 1, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    An escape movie in motion, interesting concept, expecially for a short. I would avoid?"before she meets her unknown fate", it doesn't mean nothing in my opinion.

    An escape movie in motion, interesting concept, expecially for a short.
    I would avoid?”before she meets her unknown fate”, it doesn’t mean nothing in my opinion.

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