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As the United Nations attempt to bring stability to the city of Dajar after the fall of a tyrannical regime, the lines between peacekeepers and soldiers become blurred when a new warlord rises and begins to butcher his way through Somalia.
Hello, I suggest you to try to write the logline from the point of view of the main character. Avoid backstory (the fall of the tyran is backstory in my opinion). Don't mention "Dajar", it means not so much - Dakar? in my opinion, the name of the city is not relevant to the story, not in a logline.Read more
Hello,
I suggest you to try to write the logline from the point of view of the main character.
Avoid backstory (the fall of the tyran is backstory in my opinion).
Don’t mention “Dajar”, it means not so much – Dakar? in my opinion, the name of the city is not relevant to the story, not in a logline. Dakar or Mogadishu, not really relevant.
Good luck
See lessA self-doubting gamer discovers that she is a character in a videogame and must defeat the game’s creators who want to hide the fact their characters are becoming self aware.
Hello, I think "gamer" / "virtual simulation"/ "player's word" are confusing.. the gamer is a player in a virtual world and must escape in the player's world ("real" world") ? I understand but It could be better said. "When a young gamer discover his?whole world is a virtual reality game, he must fiRead more
Hello,
See lessI think “gamer” / “virtual simulation”/ “player’s word” are confusing.. the gamer is a player in a virtual world and must escape in the player’s world (“real” world”) ? I understand but It could be better said.
“When a young gamer discover his?whole world is a virtual reality game, he must find a way to escape to the real world before the game creators delete him”.
Seen?”thirteen floor”? And “Nirvana”.
When a gang of street kids are trapped in an abandoned high-rise by armed vigilantes, a homeless veteran must overcome his trauma or let the children die.
I think that you have a viable concept, will it be a low profile / full action movie (like the title "urban combat" suggests), or a more sophisticated kind of movie? Is it "machete" or "deer hunter"? Anyway, what I like in the concept is that the main character has a clear flow and that the opponentRead more
I think that you have a viable concept, will it be a low profile / full action movie (like the title “urban combat” suggests), or a more sophisticated kind of movie? Is it “machete” or “deer hunter”? Anyway, what I like in the concept is that the main character has a clear flow and that the opponents could have an understandable point of view (like clean the neighborhood?) – maybe the motivation of the main character is not so powerful, maybe one of the kids was his friend or something? I personally don’t like the logline ending with “or let them die” because I don’t really care if “they” die, not yet, why the main character cares??The stakes are kind of obvious for the kids but not for the main character (childeren die all the time somewhere in the world). ? Watch “citadel” and “la horde” for the suburb/tower setting.
See lessCitadel : when a baby?is hold in a citadel by a gang of hooded scums, his agoraphobic father must overcome his fear if he wants to save him.