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After the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond and her missing brother's diary, an art forgery expert discovers that her long lost family was involved in an unsolved international crime, and is forced on a quest through the dark catacombs of Siberia to discover the truth
Hello, I'm still persuaded that the word "mysterious" should be avoided in a logline. I don't understant what is a art forgery expert so you have to find a better expression. Then, "After the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond and her missing brother's diary" This is not interesting. Sorry. WhatRead more
Hello,
I’m still persuaded that the word “mysterious” should be avoided in a logline.
I don’t understant what is a art forgery expert so you have to find a better expression.
Then,
“After the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond and her missing brother’s diary”
This is not interesting. Sorry.
What is interesting is what actually puts the story in motion and we must understand how and why.
A serial killer kidnap my son. I care, this starts a story.
I receive a diamond in my mailbox. Good for me. Then I go to Siberia looking for my missing family… Whaaaat!? Why!? This is not clear! Why? Logline Alert! You must come up with something that make sense, clearly, for everyone.
If the book is a good book, you must find what is the very main element that put the story in motion: it’s not a diamond, it’s not a diary. And it’s not the world “mysterious”.
Analyze the book. You must found something. A single thing, very very precise.
Then,
what is this thing about her family? Are they dead? Are they “missing people” (after a certain number of years this is legally equivalent to death)? Say things clearly. I don’t need to know if later in the movie we learn that they are not what we believed.
I give it a try…
When an anti-fraud art expert discovers that the disappearing of her family was linked to an art fraude, she ….. then what happens ?
Many things happens in the novel but you have to find what is the VERY MAIN confrontation. Siberian criminals ? Read the novel again and find the MAIN thing. There must be something. One thing.
And finally. Decide what precisely is her goal. Find her family? Solve as art forgery case?
You must understand the difference betwen teasing and writing a logline. You tease too much. In a logline you must build a solid structure.
Good luck.
See lessWhen the most trusting man in America journeys to Nigeria to collect his expected inheritance promised to him in an e-mail by a prince, he must overcome bitter reality and find his prince in order to see the good in people once again.
"When a naive and stubborn middle school counselor fall in a "nigerian prince heritage" mail fraud, he travels to nigeria to claim his heritage no matter what". Have you seen "nebraska"? it's a good movie about an old man who believe a junk mail who says that he won a million dollar and he decide toRead more
“When a naive and stubborn middle school counselor fall in a “nigerian prince heritage” mail fraud, he travels to nigeria to claim his heritage no matter what”.
Have you seen “nebraska”? it’s a good movie about an old man who believe a junk mail who says that he won a million dollar and he decide to hit the road to collect his prize. It’s the story of his son who can’t persuade him of his error and finally decide to accompany him for his safety. I think you can build something with this kind of stubborn obstination. A man always positive, always smilin… I see a Jim Carey who goes to the bank to see why his heritage is not arrived. Again, and again, and he won’t believe anyone who tells him his prince doesn’t exist. He finally convince himself the prince must be in trouble so he travels to nigeria to find him. I’m honestly interested to see if he finally will find his prince despite all odds. Will the old man win a million? I’m almost crying if I thinks to the end of “nebraska”. Maybe the prince he will find is not what he expected but he will have a kind of “prize”, some kind of experience or maybe some amount of money, or love. Will he make money about a book with his experience?
Well I definetely love this concept but it must be properly worked in a logline.
See lessA down-to-earth teen couple must survive a nightmare abortion clinic to destroy the monster Chmanok.
Hello, I love the situation (teen couple in abortion clinic), but you must work a plot: what happens ? A monster (NEVER use names that means nothing in a logline) hunts them in the clinic ? What exacly is he inciting event ?
Hello, I love the situation (teen couple in abortion clinic), but you must work a plot: what happens ? A monster (NEVER use names that means nothing in a logline) hunts them in the clinic ? What exacly is he inciting event ?
See less