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When the first time travel ship crash lands in the prehistoric era, the crew have 3 days to fix the ship before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs strikes ? exactly where they are stranded.
Hello, a Main Character would help. Try to find the most interesting person to get stuck in the past. And you should clarify the mood of the movie (if it's an action comedy as I think yoou should try to write a little more funny logline). "learn they must fix" is not a very good expression, it is obRead more
Hello,
a Main Character would help. Try to find the most interesting person to get stuck in the past.
And you should clarify the mood of the movie (if it’s an action comedy as I think yoou should try to write a little more funny logline).
“learn they must fix” is not a very good expression, it is obvious they must fix the ship to save themselves but I hope it is not a film about some mechanical discussions about the time travel engine and how to fix it (this should be a quick scene). I mean try to make clear what actions the Main Character must do, something visual. Do they need to find uranium or something on the prehistoric earth ?
Maybe something :
See less“When a commercial time travel bus crashes in the prehistoric era, an irresolute history teacher and his class have three days to fix the vehicle before the asteroid who wiped out the dinosaurs hit the earth”.
While trying to fix a noisy microwave, an appliance repair old man tells to his apprentice the strangest stories he witnessed in his job: a single mother hypnotized by her washing machine, an electronics hobbyist tuning a ultrablack screen TV set, a neglected housewife in love with her refrigerator.
I thought that the denominator was kind of evident, all the stories deal with appliances (the title is "safe appliances") should I stress more this element in the logline?
I thought that the denominator was kind of evident, all the stories deal with appliances (the title is “safe appliances”)
See lessshould I stress more this element in the logline?
When an exceptional London policeman discover a cult of murderers in a remote English village, he and his clumsy partner must bring them to justice.
Hello, I think you should keep it one sentence long. I suggest you to use the usual logline formula: When [inciting incident] happens, [adjective]+[hero] must do [action] and fight [opponents] to reach [goal]. The trick is to focus only on the most importants elements. For exemple, there is no interRead more
Hello, I think you should keep it one sentence long. I suggest you to use the usual logline formula:
When [inciting incident] happens, [adjective]+[hero] must do [action] and fight [opponents] to reach [goal].
The trick is to focus only on the most importants elements. For exemple, there is no interest in the nale of the town “stanford”, it’s just a small town. It would be better not to mention “london” because the movie would be the same with any big city, in this case maybe ou can use because the movie is already done.
Try to keep in mind the irony of the movie: an uptight super cop in a dead calm small town… apparently!
What is the hero’s goal? To catch a swan? Yes but NO, this is just an assignment, the real goal is as you said ‘to bring justice’. Now you have to build one sentence which starts with the inciting event and goes to the hero’s goal. Between the incident and the goal there is CONFLICT.
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