It’s not an obsession I’m just trying to get it right before starting the treatment for draft 2. I’ve had 1st draft coverage, positive coverage from my script consultant for the 2 page synopsis, but I want to get the logline right before moving forward. Plus I’ve got a producer waiting.

Re. deleting, I didn’t know we could delete, or I would have already. How can I do that?

This is all good as it’s helping me get to the core of the story and spot possible problems / holes.

Thanks for your advice.

Here goes:

Protag: A hard London gangster who is also a vigilante.

Antag: the son of a past victim.

Goal: to execute all registered child rapists living in freedom in the UK.

Obstacles: his wife, teenage daughter, junior gang members and the police.

Stakes: everything: his family, his gang, but most of all, his status and power to execute.

Irony: the antagonist’s father, one of the Executor’s victims, was fighting on the same side of the Executor, undercover, FOR the law, instead of against it.

My new effort at a logline:

A professional vigilante is intent on executing every registered child rapist in the UK. But when the son of a past victim infiltrates his gang his entire ‘justice’ system is put on trial.