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A self-righteous Vigilante must face a surprise enemy before he can get revenge on his son?s killer?
Ah I see... Yes. Got it. Also, stakes being raised is good too which your logline does. I have got another problem tho: my hero's goal at the start of the story is to find his sons killer. When one of his gang fucks up on a hit, he must find a replacement, so a more immediate goal arises. The kid heRead more
Ah I see… Yes. Got it. Also, stakes being raised is good too which your logline does. I have got another problem tho: my hero’s goal at the start of the story is to find his sons killer. When one of his gang fucks up on a hit, he must find a replacement, so a more immediate goal arises. The kid he chooses forces him too see his actions are unjust, but also provides the clue to his sons killer… only after showing remorse at his past mistake – killing the kids innocent dad…
See lessA self-righteous Vigilante must face a surprise enemy before he can get revenge on his son?s killer?
I like it Andrew, however...should the stakes relate to the goal ? I think it should it be the hero who pays the ultimate price, by not achieving his goal, because he'll be dead... I like your idea about his family being at risk, which they are... but they're at risk of losing the man they love - thRead more
I like it Andrew, however…should the stakes relate to the goal ?
I think it should it be the hero who pays the ultimate price, by not achieving his goal, because he’ll be dead…
I like your idea about his family being at risk, which they are… but they’re at risk of losing the man they love – the Vigilante…if he either gets caught on his killing spree or if he gets killed by the kid soldier…
The Vigilante must own up to making a wrong judgement call – he has to have a moral revelation that his actions – his random vigilante killings – are wrong…or the kid will kill him – NOT kill his family…
See lessOn a dare a naive orphan tries to get aboard a legendary space ship, and back to the orphanage before dinner with a "souvenir" from the ship or the two bullies who made the dare will smash his model space ship.
Have you written the script yet? Do you have a story outline ? It would be cool if the kid could see the bullies slowly destroy his model via a streaming video link on his phone...and this had some effect on the real ship too... This would be a good way to keep him connected to the main antagonists,Read more
Have you written the script yet? Do you have a story outline ?
It would be cool if the kid could see the bullies slowly destroy his model via a streaming video link on his phone…and this had some effect on the real ship too…
This would be a good way to keep him connected to the main antagonists, while facing obstacles on the ship…
Perhaps the bullies actions put lives at stake – maybe the world as we know it … to make it very high concept…
What starts as a stupid dare turns into a world-saving adventure…and a nerdy kid turns into an action hero…
Just spouting ideas. You’ve probably already got it all worked out 😉
Love it anyway!
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