giannisggeorgiou – Reviews – Page 23

Posted: February 26, 2019In: Drama

A decorated officer must apprehend his son, an escaped convict.

Best Answer

Added an answer on February 26, 2019 at 11:54 pm

I can definitely see the conflict here.However, if you tried using the formula, you would tell us more about how the story evolves, all within the 25-35 words required. Moreover, it would help you discover things about your story.

I can definitely see the conflict here.

However, if you tried using the formula, you would tell us more about how the story evolves, all within the 25-35 words required. Moreover, it would help you discover things about your story.

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Posted: February 23, 2019In: Fantasy

“A lightning strike changes the half breed twins path as they search for the truth behind their father’s death. While a vengeful Uncle strives to strip their shaman grandfather of all that he holds dear.”

giannisggeorgiou Samurai

Added an answer on February 23, 2019 at 10:24 pm

I agree with the above.Also, take care of your syntax and grammar. You are a writer; delivering a couple of sentences in good shape is the least you can do. For example:While a vengeful Uncle strives to strip their shaman grandfather of all that he holds dear.A "while" clause needs a main clause. ChRead more

I agree with the above.

Also, take care of your syntax and grammar. You are a writer; delivering a couple of sentences in good shape is the least you can do. For example:

While a vengeful Uncle strives to strip their shaman grandfather of all that he holds dear.

A “while” clause needs a main clause. Check this out.

Also:

half breed twins path

My (Apple) dictionary declares “half-breed” (with a hyphen) as “offensive.” Also, since we neither know the two races that have come together to create the twins (they could be orcs and elves for all I know), nor the meaning of race in the world of your story, perhaps you should keep it out of the logline.

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