1. Posted: February 21, 2019In:

    A curious detective becomes obsessed with figuring out the truth after finding her parents murder case, forcing her to go against her oath as an investigator to solve the mystery.

    Best Answer
    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    From where I see it, there is a private eye (female, which is cool and original, as far as I know) obsessed with the murder case of her parents. This obsession of hers is either a new case (as your logline suggests) or a backstory ghost. I think I prefer if the parents' case is a backstory ghost thaRead more

    From where I see it, there is a private eye (female, which is cool and original, as far as I know) obsessed with the murder case of her parents.

    This obsession of hers is either a new case (as your logline suggests) or a backstory ghost.

    I think I prefer if the parents’ case is a backstory ghost that torments the protagonist. It can even be a side project, a case which she tries to solve in between other cases. Her own personal holy grail / Chinatown.

    Then, the textbook noir plot would be her taking a case that gets connected with the old case of her parents’ murder.

    I see that this quite different from what you have written, since in your version she just finds out that her parents have been murdered.

    Anyway, let’s see:

    CHARACTER: A snoopy/stubborn detective (pick the adjective that starts the character’s arc you prefer) with a backstory wound.

    EVENT: She finds out that her parents were murdered?new light on the mystery of their death/disappearance.

    ACTION: She must solve the old case.

    OK, nothing wrong with this. I simply think that having the “two cases that are one case” noir archetype will add depth to the story.

    Also: Do private investigators take a vow of chastity? What is this oath? Is it supposed to be famous, like that of the doctors? I don’t think so…

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  2. Posted: February 18, 2019In:

    While celebrating at an exclusive costume ball, a group of superrich Singaporeans is lured away by sexy aliens and now must save Earth from being taken over by superrich aliens looking to add Earth to their coffers.

    Best Answer
    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    I read it as only one set of aliens (perhaps my brain protected me from alien-overdose). I don't see the concept of sexiness in the recipe.However, the concept of both protagonists and aliens being rich works for me in the frame of a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?premise: what if the protagonistsRead more

    I read it as only one set of aliens (perhaps my brain protected me from alien-overdose). I don’t see the concept of sexiness in the recipe.

    However, the concept of both protagonists and aliens being rich works for me in the frame of a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?premise: what if the protagonists are real-estate developers, kicking people out of their homes by raising land/rent value; then the aliens are also intergalactic real-estate developers who want to re-furbish the earth; kick the humans out and bring their own people to colonise it.

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  3. Posted: February 19, 2019In:

    A young wife seeks revenge after catching her husband cheating, and with the help of her eccentric friends, creates an online business that names and shames unfaithful men.

    Best Answer
    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    "But then..." What is the main conflict after that? What happens after the business is established? Do they get death threats? Do they uncover the USA President as an adulterer? What must they do? What is the main ACTION? Also (you don't have to put it in the logline) think about the inner journey:Read more

    “But then…” What is the main conflict after that? What happens after the business is established? Do they get death threats? Do they uncover the USA President as an adulterer?

    What must they do? What is the main ACTION?

    Also (you don’t have to put it in the logline) think about the inner journey: she starts as bitter and vengeful. Does she end up as forgiving? As independent? Does she find somebody else? Doesn’t she also discover unfaithful women? Does her business protect those? Does she have a moral dilemma over this? (I’m riffing, here.)

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