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New to a civilian world, an ex soldier freshly divorced from an abusive marriage, is forced to live with his PTSD twin sister while trying to build a business to pay the bills.
Does the sister have PTSD and not him? Was the sister in the army, too? Did she have a personal trauma that we need to know of? This premise sounds like the beginning of a movie. We are waiting for a "Then..." Of course, lots of dramas are just that. In that case, we probably expect to read more aboRead more
Does the sister have PTSD and not him? Was the sister in the army, too? Did she have a personal trauma that we need to know of?
This premise sounds like the beginning of a movie. We are waiting for a “Then…”
Of course, lots of dramas are just that. In that case, we probably expect to read more about the conflict of the story. Does the conflict come from the sister? What about her?
See lessBroken hearted and riddled with terrifying nightmares, a once sassy Skylar Claymore struggles to get her mojo back. The loss of her husband, her home, her unborn baby and her job drives Skylar to become a drunken loose cannon. When she survives a home invasion and attempted rape, Skylar finds self-defense classes at a martial arts school to combat her fears and nightmares. When the Grandmaster unlocks a hidden talent, Skylar is drawn into an underground legion of martial artists. An excommunicated blood-thirsty member of the secret group threatens to destroy the heart of the legion. Skylar must learn to master her darkest fears to protect it.
The amount of words is a result of your own confusion about your story's structure. Look at all the story elements that you've put in: She was sassy She has lost her husband She has lost her home She has lost her unborn baby She has lost her job She has become broken-hearted and riddled with terrifyRead more
The amount of words is a result of your own confusion about your story’s structure. Look at all the story elements that you’ve put in:
You have a character.
Be clear about what is in the backstory.
Be clear about what the main event is.
Be clear about what the main action is.
Richiev very cleverly added:
She may care about the legion, but my bet is that her mind and heart is fixed to her loss.
By the way, don’t add too much to it. Husband and unborn child is enough. Job and home she may simply abandon, due to the trauma.
You definitely have a nice revenge story there?please sort out the structure!
See lessWhen a streamer and his group of friends bully a stranger off a multiplayer game, they are targeted by him in real life with his own game, the streamer is left two steps behind and is in a race to stop the killings over the next 48 hours. Working Title: Stream (c)
When a streamer and his group of friends bully a stranger off a multiplayer game, they are targeted by him in real life.Agreed, this is a nice I know What You Did Last Log-In?premise.with his own gameWhat do you mean? What kind of game is his? (Real-life game I suppose. A hunt?) You should give someRead more
Agreed, this is a nice I know What You Did Last Log-In?premise.
What do you mean? What kind of game is his? (Real-life game I suppose. A hunt?) You should give some hint about what his vengeful game is.
I didn’t get this part at all. Two steps behind whom? What killings?
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