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In the final days of WWII, when a B-29 carrying the 3rd atomic bomb to be dropped on Japan crash lands on a small enemy held island the pilot, Capt. Mark Younger is captured and imprisoned in a POW camp where he must choose between helping the POWs escape, and doing his duty to stop the enemy at all costs from hijacking the atomic bomb, even if it means detonating it manually.
It's a lot to read and a bit overwhelming to look at. You really need to simplify this down and get to the main essence of the story. Take out all the unnecessary details. I feel like you are also giving too much information, especially with the last line "even if it means detonating it manually." WRead more
It’s a lot to read and a bit overwhelming to look at. You really need to simplify this down and get to the main essence of the story. Take out all the unnecessary details. I feel like you are also giving too much information, especially with the last line “even if it means detonating it manually.” We also don’t need the characters name. Also, who is the enemy specifically? Is it a general? Soldier?
After his plane crash lands in Japan, the captain is captured in a POW camp and must escape to stop the enemy(who is the enemy?) from hijacking the atomic bomb before it kills innocent lives.
I tried. Not sure if that’s helpful or not.
See lessA dedicated and passionate elementary school teacher attempts to win over his female co-worker but a sexual experience forced upon by a guy challenges everything in his life.
What do you think of this logline? I added an outer goal and changed some stuff around for the story. A dedicated, passionate male teacher who is about to marry his long time girlfriend suddenly gets his world thrown upside down when his sexuality is challenged by the new male student teacher that wRead more
What do you think of this logline? I added an outer goal and changed some stuff around for the story.
A dedicated, passionate male teacher who is about to marry his long time girlfriend suddenly gets his world thrown upside down when his sexuality is challenged by the new male student teacher that was recently hired.
See lessA dedicated and passionate elementary school teacher attempts to win over his female co-worker but a sexual experience forced upon by a guy challenges everything in his life.
It's not a rape. Perhaps my logline isn't clear right now but yes, it is the male teacher. I think that part was clear.
It’s not a rape. Perhaps my logline isn’t clear right now but yes, it is the male teacher. I think that part was clear.
See less