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A high school kid becomes increasingly obsessed with cracking an enigmatic waffle house owner.
and when i wrote 'taking down' I meant cracking ha sorry about that
and when i wrote ‘taking down’ I meant cracking ha sorry about that
See lessA high school kid becomes increasingly obsessed with cracking an enigmatic waffle house owner.
interesting concept (comedy im guessing) but for a logline its missing a few key ingedients (waffle house themed pun) First off having your inciting incident - Why does the kid become increasingly obsessed with taking dow this waffle house owner, what did the owner do to deserve this? This usually hRead more
interesting concept (comedy im guessing) but for a logline its missing a few key ingedients (waffle house themed pun)
See lessFirst off having your inciting incident – Why does the kid become increasingly obsessed with taking dow this waffle house owner, what did the owner do to deserve this? This usually happens in the first 15 pages of the screenplay
You should also give you’re character a flaw if possible (does the kid have weakness he needs to overcome in order to take down the owner)
What this needs most of all is a clear goal. Yes it is to take him down, but be a little more specific i.e does he want to destory his business, ruin an upcoming Waffle house day, burn down the building? It will just make your character and his goal a little clearer i think
Hope this helps
Ten year old Richie is bullied and sexually assaulted by a gang of black racist in Zerega a juvenile corrections facility in NYC, Upon Richie?s release he attends a school for troubled boys and is subject to the same reverse discrimination. Richie meets a teacher who becomes his mentor and guides Richie through a horrific four more months of bullying torture only to see Richie brake down and run. After years of Richie?s long-suffering behavior they meet again except the mentor-ship wheels have turned.
This is basically just waaaaayyy to long for a logline. To much info is thrown in making it extremely confusing. 25-30 words max is expected. I would suggest cutting the story down to its extreme basics. A troubled youth who is assualted in a school for troubled boys meets a teacher who becomes hisRead more
This is basically just waaaaayyy to long for a logline. To much info is thrown in making it extremely confusing. 25-30 words max is expected.
See lessI would suggest cutting the story down to its extreme basics. A troubled youth who is assualted in a school for troubled boys meets a teacher who becomes his guide until he runs away to escape the constant assualt.
You want to include in the logline (in this order) the character and his flaw, the inciting incidnet and the result of this inciting incident (i.e what the GOAL of the character becomes). Unfortunately there is no goal in this logline.
Sorry for the long post, hope it helps