Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: October 8, 2013In: Public

    When an underprivileged Pakistani boy is murdered by his richer and more influential counterpart, his friends set on a journey to seek justice in a corrupt world designed to protect those in power. But is it justice they seek or revenge?

    Screenwriters Anonymous
    Added an answer on October 14, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Question - if the lawyer is trying to "seek justice" in court system, then isn't that in a way "revenge" since he's connected to the victim? Also, I would omit the "inspiring" and leave it at "Based on the true story of ..." I don't think the moral dilemma is compelling enough - there needs to be aRead more

    Question – if the lawyer is trying to “seek justice” in court system, then isn’t that in a way “revenge” since he’s connected to the victim? Also, I would omit the “inspiring” and leave it at “Based on the true story of …”

    I don’t think the moral dilemma is compelling enough – there needs to be a stronger goal even if it’s internalized.

    “Based on the true story of , a young attorney, who seeks to avenge the death of his best friend at the hands of a corrupt Karachi politician.”

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: October 9, 2013In: Public

    WGA Registration Number: 1680921 An older black woman who suffers from insomnia. She is afraid to fall asleep because once she does she is placed inside a real life threatening situation that she must save the ones involved or they will all die. She tries to convince friends what is happening… They think she is loosing her mind and want to put her into a mental asylum to get help…The only way she is able to awake is when they are brought to safety…..

    Screenwriters Anonymous
    Added an answer on October 14, 2013 at 7:24 am

    Agreed - including the WGA# screams "amateur" so make sure you exclude this from your submissions. Also you need to consolidate your story into a one (no more than two) sentence "elevator pitch". Here's what I've whipped together using your submission and making some assumptions: "Rita suffers fromRead more

    Agreed – including the WGA# screams “amateur” so make sure you exclude this from your submissions. Also you need to consolidate your story into a one (no more than two) sentence “elevator pitch”. Here’s what I’ve whipped together using your submission and making some assumptions:

    “Rita suffers from insomnia, but only because she refuses to sleep where each minute in REM feels like a lifetime spent deep in her psyche. In this dream state, she must save friends and family from death that is ultimately mirrored in the real world.”

    This is a quick winger, but hopefully it could serve as a template that will need tightening through several iterations.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: October 8, 2013In: Public

    A girl is pulled over by the police officer who raped her mother 5 years ago. Out of sheer panic she tries to escape.

    Screenwriters Anonymous
    Added an answer on October 14, 2013 at 7:02 am

    Agreed with Richiev - you've presented a scene. Without knowing much about your intended storyline: "Amanda, a small town teenager, fights for her life when she crosses paths with her mother's rapist who hides behind the badge." Best to identify protagonist by name, present the tension, reveal the aRead more

    Agreed with Richiev – you’ve presented a scene. Without knowing much about your intended storyline:

    “Amanda, a small town teenager, fights for her life when she crosses paths with her mother’s rapist who hides behind the badge.”

    Best to identify protagonist by name, present the tension, reveal the antagonist, and perhaps add the time/location, if important, and an extra layer of tension created by a deadline (the ticking time bomb).

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 2 3 4 5 6 … 18

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 7,997
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,710

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.