True.

I think it’s difficult when commenting on a logline to separate the feeling of natural curiosity about a story or concept and wanting to know more – on the one hand – and thinking that the logline offers insufficient detail.

That’s not to say I disagree with dpg’s comments about the logline only addresssing the setup. He’s right. The problem with continually re-writing a logline is being blinded to the forest by the trees. And then with each additional comment – often about story or concept – the detail increases until the logline becomes cluttered and ineffective.

My personal approach when commenting on other writer’s efforts is to attempt to rewrite the logline – with added sizzle (dpg’s word) – on the basis of the original logline without seeking additional info. Is this more useful than seeking additional info? Maybe we could discuss it.

“A bounty hunter arriving from an alternate reality holds bar patrons hostage in order to trap a fugitive but when a killer able to manipulate time and reality shows up, the hunter becomes the hunted”.