Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A Vietnam soldier returns home after 22-months in Cambodia. When he returns to America, his family and home are gone and nobody recognizes him.
I was also a little confused about why he is in Cambodia even though you said he fought in Vietnam. I know they're neighbouring countries but can't see why he isn't still in Vietnam or why it's mentioned if he is in Cambodia. If it is pivotal put it in the log line. Also think it needs something elsRead more
I was also a little confused about why he is in Cambodia even though you said he fought in Vietnam. I know they’re neighbouring countries but can’t see why he isn’t still in Vietnam or why it’s mentioned if he is in Cambodia. If it is pivotal put it in the log line.
Also think it needs something else – what is he going to do? If you can strip the above log line down and add a few words to tell us what he is going to do to get back to normality. At the minutes feels like it cuts off half way through.
See lessA naive young intelligence analyst is sent undercover in a group of rogue CIA agents – but as he falls for the glamor of their high-octane lifestyle, he starts to question who the real bad guys are…
Hi debbiemoon, I have to agree slightly with TX in that seems a little odd that an inexperienced agent would be sent in undercover with a set of rogue agents as these guys would be the CIA's worst nightmare as they have all the CIA's training and they are the enemy so it would be hard to defeat themRead more
Hi debbiemoon, I have to agree slightly with TX in that seems a little odd that an inexperienced agent would be sent in undercover with a set of rogue agents as these guys would be the CIA’s worst nightmare as they have all the CIA’s training and they are the enemy so it would be hard to defeat them. A way you could play it is like The Departed in that they send DiCaprio in undercover because no one would know him as he is new?! I think how it plays should be in the log line.
I think the log line works but a small quibble would be to try lose some of the words. Young and naive imply the same personality traits so I’d only use one or even ‘inexperienced’, and maybe reword ‘falls for the glamour of their high-octane lifestyle’ as it is a lot of words and doesn’t really say a lot. I think this little bit could be done better. The log line works and gives us the story but needs tightening up.
See lessWhen a struggling home economics teacher is diagnosed with cancer he opens a bakery to "raise the dough" and secure a financial future for his family.
I was going to say it a light hearted Breaking Bad but then read the comment and title haha. I quite like the log line but think maybe you should end on the 'raise the dough' line as it is the humorous part of it and it's bogged down near the middle. That would be my suggestion.
I was going to say it a light hearted Breaking Bad but then read the comment and title haha. I quite like the log line but think maybe you should end on the ‘raise the dough’ line as it is the humorous part of it and it’s bogged down near the middle. That would be my suggestion.
See less