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In the small harbor town of Boothbay, Maine, older married couple Phillip and Barbra who are both unhappy in their marriage, the young newlywed couple Doug and Sarah who just moved in next door, and longtime neighbor John that?s still hung up on his deceased wife, enter the Wife Carrying Contest after Sarah, a rookie psychologist, tells Barbra it will strengthen her marriage!
As people have been saying the wife carrying contest is a good hook for the story as it is unusual but work on the log line as it is far too long. Take out all the names and their descriptions and focus on the one main couple to tell the log line. You have put the psychologist tells Barbara it willRead more
As people have been saying the wife carrying contest is a good hook for the story as it is unusual but work on the log line as it is far too long. Take out all the names and their descriptions and focus on the one main couple to tell the log line. You have put the psychologist tells Barbara it will strengthen their marriage so write the log line for Barbara’s reasons. The other couples can be added in simply with ‘other couples’ as s far it takes half the log line just to establish the characters and it makes it far too long.
Hope this helps
See lessWhen the government release swarms of drug eating insects to kill the junkie population a self-righteous policeman risks everything as he struggles to save his drug using sister from the tyrannical forces of prohibition.
I agree it does have all the relevant components for a log line so kudos my friend, however (always a but) I would lose the generic 'risks everything' and trim down some unnecessary parts like the 'tyrannical forces of prohibition'. It is a good idea but just needs telling in fewer words. I wander iRead more
I agree it does have all the relevant components for a log line so kudos my friend, however (always a but) I would lose the generic ‘risks everything’ and trim down some unnecessary parts like the ‘tyrannical forces of prohibition’. It is a good idea but just needs telling in fewer words. I wander if maybe to not include the insects and keep the way they kill them a mystery or be able to get what they are across in fewer words as the opening line takes a while to build momentum.
Overall though a really interesting idea.
See lessTo distance himself from overbearing parents, high school freshman Michael Colantino finds himself compelled to create thoughtful hip-hop music in a world that overwhelmed with flashy and uninspired artists. Michael's friend Harry seeks help dealing with a dishonest truck driver.
It might be easier to comment if people knew the log line of the entire series and then the log line for the episode. Is the log line written how TOAST suggests? The log line for the series will help with the log line of the episode as the episodes should lead towards the overall goal of the seriesRead more
It might be easier to comment if people knew the log line of the entire series and then the log line for the episode. Is the log line written how TOAST suggests? The log line for the series will help with the log line of the episode as the episodes should lead towards the overall goal of the series so it would connect but be easier to understand if knew the overall arc of your story.
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