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A brilliant, genetically engineered con-artist has three days to find the scientist who programmed her to die on her twenty first birthday.
I really like this idea. The log line works but just feels a little flat and think something needs to bring it to life a bit more. Maybe if this is word choice or perhaps a greater obstacle within the entire plot, but I do think it is a good idea and does highlight a protagonist, an antagonist, stakRead more
I really like this idea. The log line works but just feels a little flat and think something needs to bring it to life a bit more. Maybe if this is word choice or perhaps a greater obstacle within the entire plot, but I do think it is a good idea and does highlight a protagonist, an antagonist, stakes, and goal but I want more lol. Think it just needs something to grip an audience even more. The idea reminds me of In Time which has a great premise but failed to deliver the goods. Good work on the line though as definitely does its job.
See lessA doctor battles his fear of needles to rescue his daughter from a former physician, the source of his phobia, bound to his daughter by blood.
I'm sorry but afraid I have to agree with sharkeatingman and Richiev. When I first read it I thought it was a short comedy film. The logline seems confused as in the mission is so minimal at the beginning and than you throw in the story about blood and all of a sudden it goes dark. The overall storyRead more
I’m sorry but afraid I have to agree with sharkeatingman and Richiev. When I first read it I thought it was a short comedy film. The logline seems confused as in the mission is so minimal at the beginning and than you throw in the story about blood and all of a sudden it goes dark.
The overall story of the idea needs to be in there and then thread around it that the guy i scared of something hidden and raise that from simply needles to why he is afraid of needles. Could his Mother have died of a heroin overdose? So far the log line doesn’t know what your asking it to do and if you read these comments you will see that it is confusing your audience also. Definitely give it another try and see what you can come up with.
See lessAn unhinged loner masquerading in his late father?s police uniform investigates the apparent suicide of his only friend, a rookie Los Angeles cop with a dark secret. Can he walk the thin blue line?
I would have to agree with the above comments. It is a really interesting idea but putting on his Dad's uniform doesn't sound like a fetish. Also the word fetish makes it sound more comedic and by reading the log line it doesn't sound like it is. The idea is certainly different and I like the idea oRead more
I would have to agree with the above comments. It is a really interesting idea but putting on his Dad’s uniform doesn’t sound like a fetish. Also the word fetish makes it sound more comedic and by reading the log line it doesn’t sound like it is.
The idea is certainly different and I like the idea of a man who isn’t a cop investigating a death, that part was nice but yeah the final part is slightly cliched. What will keep him working on the investigation? Could there be corruption and he learns his Dad is a corrupt cop? Could this loner want to continue the investigation as he now has ‘friends’ in the force? Could the killer send a note to his Father taunting him but the loner thinks it is for him?
Premise is good but feel it needs more of a hook.
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