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Mick is placed in charge of security USB key containing a top secret list of field agents… which gets accidentally eaten by his Scottish Terrier, McCloud. )
Is it a kind of spoof/satirical tv programme? When started reading it I thought not this story line again but the spin at the end was funny and I liked it. Richiev is right it does need the what does he do next but it is a funny spin on an overdone premise.
Is it a kind of spoof/satirical tv programme? When started reading it I thought not this story line again but the spin at the end was funny and I liked it. Richiev is right it does need the what does he do next but it is a funny spin on an overdone premise.
See lessA man planning to commit suicide becomes the soul survivor of a commercial jet airline crash plus the investigations number one suspect as a terrorist involved in bringing the flight down but most importantly he is reborn, discovering the things in life he previously thought of no value: love, empathy & revolution.
You can see before reading it that it is far too wordy. Half of what you have in there is unneeded, such as the amount of detail on the plane crash. Richiev's logline above strips it down well and cuts out all the fat that was clogging up your log line. Think of all the elements the log line needs;Read more
You can see before reading it that it is far too wordy. Half of what you have in there is unneeded, such as the amount of detail on the plane crash. Richiev’s logline above strips it down well and cuts out all the fat that was clogging up your log line. Think of all the elements the log line needs; protagonist, antagonist, stakes, hook, story and remove all overly descriptive text that could easily be written in one word for example; a man planning to commit suicide – to – a suicidal man. Says the same thing and a lot less words.
See lessWhen an out-of-control teen is sentenced to rehab, she's singled out by the patients as a target for their dark and disturbing games. She befriends a violent troublemaker who encourages her to fight back, to unleash her dark side, to become….a killer.
I would agree with Lucius' log line more as it is less wordy and still tells us exactly what we need to know. A lot of potential in the idea and the log line really does sum it up. The uses of the words 'dark and disturbing' next to 'games' really adds to the intrigue as they can be seen as differenRead more
I would agree with Lucius’ log line more as it is less wordy and still tells us exactly what we need to know. A lot of potential in the idea and the log line really does sum it up. The uses of the words ‘dark and disturbing’ next to ‘games’ really adds to the intrigue as they can be seen as different and ultimately cause conflict. Tighten it up slightly, remove unnecessary words and you’re on to a good one.
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