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When Jen?s niece accidentally sends them back to 1988 the one person who can help them is she man she swore never to see again. Her ex-husband
This sound like a fun story. Although for a romance logline, I feel it lacks relationship tension. I feel I need to know something move about Jen. What's her flaw? What's she got against her ex? What do they need to overcome to make them work together? Also (I can here Karel in my ear and his warninRead more
This sound like a fun story. Although for a romance logline, I feel it lacks relationship tension. I feel I need to know something move about Jen. What’s her flaw? What’s she got against her ex? What do they need to overcome to make them work together?
Also (I can here Karel in my ear and his warning about period pieces) setting the story in 1988 adds a whole level of complexity. Maybe re-think this. Could they just go back a few years, at the crucial time of her break-up?
See lessA reluctant babysitter tries to spook his little sister, telling a gruesome bedtime story of a young girl?s perilous journey through a dangerous kingdom carrying her father?s living head, in search of his fleeing body.
Who's the protagonist here? The reluctant babysitter, or the young girl's perilous journey? I'm not sure where this story is taking place. I do, however, like the story element of a 'living head, in search of his fleeing body'.? :D
Who’s the protagonist here? The reluctant babysitter, or the young girl’s perilous journey? I’m not sure where this story is taking place.
I do, however, like the story element of a ‘living head, in search of his fleeing body’.? 😀
See lessOn the night of his big break, an up-and-coming comedian interrupts a pharmacy robbery, triggering a madcap chain of events as he races against the gang and the clock to get back to the theatre.
I like this. Seems mostly clear. I just can't help question why the gang are chasing him, or racing him to the theatre?
I like this. Seems mostly clear. I just can’t help question why the gang are chasing him, or racing him to the theatre?
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