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In 1950?s Los Angeles a vengeful rookie DA learns to think like the notorious criminals he prosecutes in order to bring justice to the Southland.
Good point by DPG also add in a clear goal, what is it he actually needs to achieve in order to catch the bad guy. I think "...vengeful..." gets used a lot as a character description because it implies the character is generally motivated but the problem is it is a generic description on its own. InRead more
Good point by DPG also add in a clear goal, what is it he actually needs to achieve in order to catch the bad guy.
I think “…vengeful…” gets used a lot as a character description because it implies the character is generally motivated but the problem is it is a generic description on its own.
In what way is he vengeful? What made him vengeful that will be different to the many other vengeful main characters in many other stories?
For example if you were to describe him as a vengeful widower the reader can draw the conclusion that he is vengeful for the death of his wife. Or vengeful grieving father could mean he is vengeful for the death of his child then you can tie this in with his goal to stop other wives or children being killed.
Other wise he is just out on his own pissed and on a mission for no apparent reason and this could render him crazy or un-sympathetic.
Hope this helps.
See lessA retired homicide detective must figure out why everybody below the age of 65 have died at their computers, which are all running a pointless game where avatars are stalked and killed by a monster. To make matters worse there’s nobody left to run the nursing home, food is running out, and Mrs Everett needs to go to the bathroom.
No need to get all that into the logline most of what you wrote in your last pot is back story, your logline needs to describe the forward motion of action in pursuit of a goal not the past. After the sudden death of all people under 65 a retired detective must investigate what happened in order toRead more
No need to get all that into the logline most of what you wrote in your last pot is back story, your logline needs to describe the forward motion of action in pursuit of a goal not the past.
After the sudden death of all people under 65 a retired detective must investigate what happened in order to do what?
This is most of your logline as it describes the plot that will be in your story only thing that is not clear at this point is what is his goal. If all under 65 died and no one over 65 will die so now what? That is a bad thing but what will happen if he fails or succeeds? What is there left for him to do? What are the stakes?
See lessIn an apocalyptic winter filled with zombies, Juliet is on a rampage to kill Romeo at all costs.
I think the premise needs re thinking if you are doing an action version of Romeo and Juliet with zombies and with a reverse relationship. I'm not sure what your "hook" of interest is here if the story is not a comedy. If this is indeed a modern version of Romeo and Juliet only set in a zombie apocaRead more
I think the premise needs re thinking if you are doing an action version of Romeo and Juliet with zombies and with a reverse relationship.
I’m not sure what your “hook” of interest is here if the story is not a comedy.
If this is indeed a modern version of Romeo and Juliet only set in a zombie apocalypse what differentiates it to other modern telling of the same story is that Juliet actually hates Romeo and wants to kill him. Which essentially makes this a different story to Romeo and Juliet and renders the character names useless and the premise entirely different.
On that note and taking into account that this is not a comedy the main character’s need to kill her former lover needs to be explained through a well motivating inciting incident. Why must she kill him? What is at stake if she doesn’t succeed?
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