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When a women?s prison workgang is attacked by 19th Century demon possessed, private-school girls, the head prisoner must destroy them to save the new inmate.
I suggest you change your tone if you indeed want others to give you constructive criticism.
I suggest you change your tone if you indeed want others to give you constructive criticism.
See lessAfter his girlfriend breaks up with him because he acts too ?white,? a bookish African-American teenager seeks guidance from his estranged, drug-dealing older sister on how to reinvent his image and win back the love of his life.
Nice step up with lots of comic potential but as DPG said needs a clearer plot. Using specific terms and descriptions what is it he must do exactly and is there another guy his girlfriend is interested in that could possibly become the antagonist? For some reason I think it could be really funny andRead more
Nice step up with lots of comic potential but as DPG said needs a clearer plot. Using specific terms and descriptions what is it he must do exactly and is there another guy his girlfriend is interested in that could possibly become the antagonist?
For some reason I think it could be really funny and interesting if he needs to beat the other guy or win a free style rap contest. As an art form that both white and black artists (but predominantly black) compete in it could prove to be a good way for him to prove himself with lots of awkward and inappropriate humour.
Or could it be that he wants to ask her to marry him but on account of her parents he must prove him self?
Otherwise the logline is too wordy and describes many things that don’t as many words for example:
After losing his girlfriend on account of his white nature a bookish afro-American must?.
Lastly Richiev nailed the title that is perfect.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a women?s prison workgang is attacked by 19th Century demon possessed, private-school girls, the head prisoner must destroy them to save the new inmate.
In addition to DPG's comments bellow this is just one example of a film that differs to the rest where as for most films this would be inaccurate to say. Ultimately if your MC has a selfish goal that does nothing for anyone but her self she is not a character worthy of the audience to invest in emotRead more
In addition to DPG’s comments bellow this is just one example of a film that differs to the rest where as for most films this would be inaccurate to say.
Ultimately if your MC has a selfish goal that does nothing for anyone but her self she is not a character worthy of the audience to invest in emotionally. In doing so you are reducing the appeal of the concept so better to structure it so her goal has at least one aspect to it that is noble.
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