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A downtrodden scientist learns hard lessons from the unintended consequences of time travel as he attempts to improve his present fortunes…but at what cost?
Back To The Future 2 in other words. How will this differ from such a classic? As Lee suggested this lacks the plot specifics that could make it different from previous stories with similar subject matter and add interest. Secondly I personally find "?downtrodden?" a commonly used description for chRead more
Back To The Future 2 in other words.
How will this differ from such a classic?
As Lee suggested this lacks the plot specifics that could make it different from previous stories with similar subject matter and add interest.
Secondly I personally find “?downtrodden?” a commonly used description for characters that aren’t fleshed out enough as it generically implies that the character is not doing great in his or her life.
Secondly “?downtrodden?” doesn’t elaborate on a flaw that the character needs to overcome, it is just the situation he or she are in at that point in time (no pun intended?).
What inner journey will the MC go on in this story?
Hope this helps.
See lessA weak white supremacist falsely jailed for drugs, gets trained and helped escape by a racist black ex-cop inmate, to hunt down the bad guys and prove his innocence.
As DPG mentioned the odd couple trope is what make this potentially appealing in my mind the story in it's own right doesn't. The plot you described seems convoluted the events are seemingly random as the son by chance bumps into the MC and by chance plants the drugs on his person then by chance getRead more
As DPG mentioned the odd couple trope is what make this potentially appealing in my mind the story in it’s own right doesn’t.
The plot you described seems convoluted the events are seemingly random as the son by chance bumps into the MC and by chance plants the drugs on his person then by chance gets away. Then the mysterious drug lord bribes some unrelated people and by chance both cop and MC are arrested.
Up to this point the MC is passive the story happens around him and conveniently puts him in an odd couple situation with a black man. Admittedly this is all before the inciting incident of him getting arrested but he seams like a person that wants nothing, has no ambitions and is a racist. Will the audience care what happens to him or not but the time act one ends? I would endeavour to say no.
I suggest re thinking the specifics of the plot that brings the odd couple together and the type of their opposing natures. A recent example of such a dynamic is Get Hard with Will Ferrell, wash’t a great film but very similar in character dynamic.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a werewolf kills a member of a camping group, one man must unite the group to resolve their differences and survive the night!
"?one man?" is far too vague for a MC description in a logline. How does the death of a camper motivate people to unit? How are a group of people go camping together and not be united? What does "...resolve their differences?" look like? What differences? The elements of the story are too vague andRead more
“?one man?” is far too vague for a MC description in a logline.
How does the death of a camper motivate people to unit? How are a group of people go camping together and not be united? What does “…resolve their differences?” look like? What differences?
The elements of the story are too vague and fail to exhibit a clear cause and effect relationship.
The stakes are life or death in nature this is clear but there have been so many stories where this is the case, what could make this one interesting is a personal stake. Could the dead camper be the MC’s best friend, brother, wife, lover or business partner?
Hope this helps.
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