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  1. Posted: June 17, 2015In: Public

    When a woman is imprisoned by a crazed vivisectionist, she must win the trust of the hybrids in order to escape and save her friends.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 18, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Don't take the 25 word rule of thumb as a must because while less words are better, a word count is not essential. This is especially true if you are using the logline to help structure a plot instead of pitch an idea. FFF is right "...a woman..." is too generic a description for a logline what is hRead more

    Don’t take the 25 word rule of thumb as a must because while less words are better, a word count is not essential. This is especially true if you are using the logline to help structure a plot instead of pitch an idea.

    FFF is right “…a woman…” is too generic a description for a logline what is her unique character flaw that will make it harder for her to achieve her goal? Use one or two words to describe this.

    Secondly the premise requires a leap of logic from the reader in order to make sense. Best to specify that this surgeon has many surgically altered animals or animal/human hybrids trapped with the woman. These are basically going to be the allies if they are essential to the plot mention them if not don’t.

    How about:
    After being trapped with a group of animal and human hybrids by a crazy vivisectionist an obsessive compulsive accountant must gain the other inmates trust in order to escape and save their lives.

    Hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: June 15, 2015In: Public

    When a music teacher discovers his new girlfriend is a serial killer, he must decide whether to turn her in or continue having amazing sex.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 18, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Dilemma does not necessarily equal action. No action no story, what is the action in this story? What will the MC actually do?

    Dilemma does not necessarily equal action.

    No action no story, what is the action in this story? What will the MC actually do?

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  3. Posted: June 16, 2015In: Public

    The last surving man on the planet goes on the run from tribes of horny women, desperate to be impreginated. Responsibility is the last thing this homosexual manchild wants.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 17, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    This has potential to be a wacky comedy and as Richiev specified there is inherit conflict from the nature of the character and the situation he is in. Best to specify an inciting incident and goal though how about: After all men on Earth are gone but one homosexual he goes on the run from tribes ofRead more

    This has potential to be a wacky comedy and as Richiev specified there is inherit conflict from the nature of the character and the situation he is in.

    Best to specify an inciting incident and goal though how about:
    After all men on Earth are gone but one homosexual he goes on the run from tribes of horny women, desperate to be impregnated desperate to find a safe heaven.

    Hope this helps

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