Hi Nick

Yes the original draft of the logline is too bloated and I think DPG nailed the essence of the plot in his iteration.

The stakes at hand in addition to keeping their fathers dying wish is that the brothers don’t want the CEO to exploit the loyal elderly viewers of the station by turning it into a shopping channel. If he does then the viewers will likely waist their pension money on items they don’t need (a real problem with many elderly demographics by the way).

All this however is story that can be left out of the logline allowing it to deal with the action and goals which I hope make for an intriguing enough read to want to watch the show.

That said as you suggested this is an over the top comedy and the story elements I am bringing to it will hopefully only give it another layer of interest as a strong premise to hold the comic scenes.