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When her only daughter intends to get married within a month, 50 yrs old widow Neela, who has deep fear of loneliness, must become aware of this fear by stop denying it and then try to face and overcome this fear by accepting the truth that we are all alone so that she can give consent to her daughter's marriage.
Understood. This concept appears to hinge on cultural specific conventions therefore the setting is important to the concept and needs to be mentioned in the logline. The stakes won't necessarily be miss-understood in other cultures but the conventions that create them need clarification. DPG askedRead more
Understood.
This concept appears to hinge on cultural specific conventions therefore the setting is important to the concept and needs to be mentioned in the logline.
The stakes won’t necessarily be miss-understood in other cultures but the conventions that create them need clarification.
DPG asked a good question, the answer could change the logline.
Either the daughter is defying the ways of old or she is struggling to follow her heart and comply with them at the same time.
See lessA Nanny is mysteriously directed to the wrong house and is demanded to kill captive children for a soul hungry Entity whose time is running out to earn immortality; she must choose to save the children and escape or be tortured, forever captive with them.
There is no industry wide convention for logline formatting as there is for script formatting for example but loglines are a common tool used in the industry to sum up a story. Whether you use this tool to structure or pitch the story will determine what type of logline you need. A pitch logline wilRead more
There is no industry wide convention for logline formatting as there is for script formatting for example but loglines are a common tool used in the industry to sum up a story.
Whether you use this tool to structure or pitch the story will determine what type of logline you need.
A pitch logline will likely benefit from less words, 30 and under, and focus on “hooks” this type of logline should be used after a script is finished and ready to be shopped around.
A structuring logline should focus on plot and character as this will road test the concept via the core elements of your story and help you structure the whole plot for the script.
I’m not sure what stage of development this concept is at and unless told otherwise I and most members on this site comment under the assumption it is still in its early structuring stage. If this is the case all previous comments still apply, if not and you are about to pitch the script then perhaps best to re think the logline with a focus on the stakes characters and the inciting incident and less about the genre.
And yes I to find this web site is like a gold mine of feedback…
See lessAfter a curse is placed on him a suicidal young man must convince his non-committal girlfriend to fall in love with him before he can kill himself.
"After a curse is placed on him?" does not directly relate to "...must convince his non-committal girlfriend to fall in love with?". There is no connection or cause and effect between the inciting incident and the goal. Further if she is already his girlfriend wouldn't she already love him otherwiseRead more
“After a curse is placed on him?” does not directly relate to “…must convince his non-committal girlfriend to fall in love with?”.
There is no connection or cause and effect between the inciting incident and the goal.
Further if she is already his girlfriend wouldn’t she already love him otherwise why is she his girlfriend? On the other side if she is with him and non committal what kind of relationship are they in an open one and he wants her for him self?
As DPG said there is a problem with the premise I think it lacks logic.
Hope this helps.
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