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In this Western, a harmonious father & husband picks up his guns to gain revenge after his family are brutally murdered by a ruthless sheriff in search of a fabled map.
"The Outlaw?s revenge, is the sheriff living his whole life without ever seeing it!" How will this look like? For a goal to be good it needs to be depicted cinematically. Hope this helps.
“The Outlaw?s revenge, is the sheriff living his whole life without ever seeing it!”
How will this look like?
For a goal to be good it needs to be depicted cinematically.
Hope this helps.
See lessA homicide detective goes on the run to prove his innocence after he?s framed for murder by a malevolent police cyber-intelligence.
Best to word a logline in a way that depicts a story, after a significant event happens to this main character he or she must take a compelling action to achieve a clear goal. I.e; instead of "Framed for murder," which is an obscure time reference and strange way to start a sentence specify: After hRead more
Best to word a logline in a way that depicts a story, after a significant event happens to this main character he or she must take a compelling action to achieve a clear goal. I.e; instead of “Framed for murder,” which is an obscure time reference and strange way to start a sentence specify: After he was framed for murder…
Better to determine specifics rather than hint at potentials instead of “?seemingly?” just use he returned.
Lastly better to connect the inciting incident with the goal if he is being framed for murder he must do something about that and prove his innocence not just catch the killer as a separate item.
E.g:
See lessAfter being framed for murder a detective must hunt down the real killer which he put on the electric chair years before to prove his innocence.
A nostalgic adventurer returns to Greece to avoid the sale of his grand parents house in a week, but faces his coquettish parents who reject his lifestyle and blackmail him with the house, and his sandbox love as a badass broker who needs every cent during the financial crisis.
If you're asking for a personal opinion I don't find the house to be high enough stakes nor compelling enough motivation for a film but that's just me other people may disagree?
If you’re asking for a personal opinion I don’t find the house to be high enough stakes nor compelling enough motivation for a film but that’s just me other people may disagree?
See less