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When a hooker attempts to steal a wallet from a drunken john, she accidentally makes a horrific discovery — the couple is not alone in a shabby room of a love hotel.
My bad, thanks for that DPG. I would like to strike my previous comment about this from the record, other comments still stand.
My bad, thanks for that DPG.
I would like to strike my previous comment about this from the record, other comments still stand.
See lessA young amnesiac and terribly clumsy woman must rely on the help of a strange psychologist to remember that she is a super heroine who holds the key to stop a mad scientist who's about to attempt a quantum experiment that could destroy humanity.
Hi Bomarc I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on "...the situation..." but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline. In my opinion good loglines start with; when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they hRead more
Hi Bomarc
I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on “…the situation…” but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline.
In my opinion good loglines start with;
when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they have to do this…
or
when a someone of this description has this thing happen to them they have to do this…
This draft has;
when a someone (MC) of this description (super hero) and this description (amnesiac) after that thing (accident) during that other thing (on a mission) has this thing happen to them (become a patient of a shrink) with this description (personality disorder) for this reason (retrieve her memory) description of the world (not safe place).
In short this logline doesn’t describe a story rather elements in the plot and setting. Karel Segers has a good little formula that helps with the basic structure of a logline here it is:
See lessWhen a {major event} happens {the MC} must {do the main action} and learn to {over come the flaw}.
If the way they overcome the flaw is significant then add that into the logline as well.
A young amnesiac and terribly clumsy woman must rely on the help of a strange psychologist to remember that she is a super heroine who holds the key to stop a mad scientist who's about to attempt a quantum experiment that could destroy humanity.
Hi Bomarc I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on "...the situation..." but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline. In my opinion good loglines start with; when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they hRead more
Hi Bomarc
I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on “…the situation…” but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline.
In my opinion good loglines start with;
when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they have to do this…
or
when a someone of this description has this thing happen to them they have to do this…
This draft has;
when a someone (MC) of this description (super hero) and this description (amnesiac) after that thing (accident) during that other thing (on a mission) has this thing happen to them (become a patient of a shrink) with this description (personality disorder) for this reason (retrieve her memory) description of the world (not safe place).
In short this logline doesn’t describe a story rather elements in the plot and setting. Karel Segers has a good little formula that helps with the basic structure of a logline here it is:
See lessWhen a {major event} happens {the MC} must {do the main action} and learn to {over come the flaw}.
If the way they overcome the flaw is significant then add that into the logline as well.